My family takes frequent walks around the neighborhood. It’s a way to get some fresh air and enjoy being together. A few years ago, while I was jogging and pushing my twins in the stroller, my daughter Naomi was trying out her skateboard. You won’t catch me on a skateboard anytime soon. I have no interest in falling, which is exactly what happened to Naomi. She tumbled and scraped up pretty badly, which led to a lot of tears. I scooped her up, took her home, and cleaned her wounds.
In the big picture, a skinned knee isn’t life altering, but it represented a challenge for Naomi. She was at a crossroads. Would the pain of falling keep her from riding again, or would it light a fire inside her to get back on her board? In life, you will fall. To succeed, you have to remain unshaken. Overcoming hardship is easier if we commit to getting back up even before we experience failure. It’s a mindset, and I hope I’m teaching that to my kids. As dads, we can help them build the confidence they need to overcome whatever threatens to shake them. Here are 3 P’s to remain unshakeable.
1. Your Process
Trust the process. Every success is a step forward. Every failure is a step backward. Those steps can be big or small, but every step brings value. Naomi had success on her skateboard. Then she experienced failure. All of it adds up to progress toward a goal. Trust the process when you’re trying to get better. We will remain unshakeable if we begin to see “failures” as an important part of the growth process. Emphasizing this with kids is paramount because they tend to be easily discouraged. Urge them to show perseverance during the bumpy parts of the process.
2. Your Person
Find your people. Living life on an island sounds freeing, until you’re forced to do it. Isolation isn’t good for us. Humans were made for community, which is why stability often comes when we begin to lean on others. When Naomi fell, she knew who to turn to. I was right there. I was the person in that moment who made her feel safe. Part of overcoming hardship is finding people you can trust and lean on in your low moments. You can be that person for your kids. They may find others to lean on, but they should always know that you are available to them. Just being there for your kids gives them a solid foundation.
3. Your Purpose
Know your purpose. When the finish line is defined, the journey is focused. For Naomi, the purpose of skating was to enjoy it and get better. Her journey included a fall, but that didn’t change the purpose. Knowing your purpose helps make a person unshakeable. It brings clarity. Do your best. Know the truth. Never compromise. That way, when hardships come, you can keep your eyes on your purpose.
Sound off: Would you consider yourself an unshakeable person?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have you ever failed at something and wanted to quit?”