Marriage takes work. When you buy a new big screen TV, it comes with hundreds of pages of instructions. When you get married, you get a sheet of paper. Sure, there are many great marriage resources to help you grow together, but rarely do we know what to do to keep our marriages rich.
One of the greatest tools to measure our success in marriage is asking our wives good questions. When we can ask good questions, it opens our eyes to new things we haven’t seen or felt. To connect more deeply with your wife, you need to ask her these 3 questions.
One of the greatest tools to measure our success in marriage is asking our wives good questions.1. “Are we good?”
You will have seasons of busyness and disconnection. If we are not careful, we can find ourselves going through the rhythms of life without any depth in our marriage. My wife and I ask this question at least once a month. Are we good? For both of us, this question is a check engine light for when we feel distant. We remind each other of our commitment and desire to love each other well. If you are not good, talk through it and if you need to, seek some professional help.
2. “Do you need anything from me/Is there anything I can do for you?”
If you make it a habit to ask this question, you will find it has little to do with chores around the house. Asking this question shows that you are aware that your wife has needs and that you actually care about those needs. This question is the equivalent of saying, I see you and we are in this together as a team. Don’t ask this question when you are in trouble and are trying to make up with her. Make this a regular part of your daily routine. Most of the time, when I ask first, she follows up by asking if she could do anything for me. Your relationship grows deeper when you are working together.
3. “If we were to switch places for a day, what do you think I would learn?”
This question must be asked when you are in a good place in your marriage, not in the middle of a conflict. Before you ask, you must be ready to hear whatever might come out. It may be things that have caused conflict in the past and that is OK. The idea behind the question is not to see who does more around the house or carries more weight. The purpose is to hear what is important to your wife. If she talks about how much she does for the kids, this may be an area where you can give her encouragement. This also may be a source of frustration for her and you may need to help bear more of the burden. Either way, showing empathy to your wife allows you to grow in new ways—including closer to her.
Earn some points: Share this iMOM article with your wife: Couples Who Out Love Have Marriages That Outlast.
Sound Off: What questions do you ask your wife to deepen your relationship?
Huddle up with your wife and ask one of these questions.