A few months ago, five tornadoes devastated our town. They knocked down trees and powerlines everywhere and caused millions of dollars in damage. We are still digging ourselves out. Miraculously, not one person died, but the tornadoes caused major disruptions, leaving many people struggling to find a new normal.
Marriage struggles often leave us feeling like we’ve been through a tornado. We can feel disrupted, disillusioned, and struggling to find our routines. But as hard as marriage problems are, they can also be good for your marriage. Here are 3 reasons marriage struggles can be good for your relationship.
1. Struggles can bring couples together.
A crisis can bring out the best and worst in people. I cannot remember a time when our community has come together so quickly. People united around a common goal of helping those most affected by the storm. When couples face a crisis, they can come together quickly because they have a common goal of getting through their storm, whether physical, financial, relational, or spiritual. If you’re in a difficult season, work on being unified with your wife by having regular meetings to discuss your progress together. A great example of this is to have a budget meeting to discuss how to handle your money as a couple.
When you know what your priorities are, decision-making for your family gets a lot easier.2. Struggles can help couples focus on what’s truly important.
It’s easy to lose focus in your marriage when you’re working a lot of hours or busy shuttling your children to their next practice. Marriage struggles help us refocus on what’s important. One simple way to refocus is by having a scheduled date night. If a date night doesn’t work, then run through a drive-thru to get coffee together. Use these times to ask questions and to check in and review your priorities. When you know what your priorities are, decision-making for your family gets a lot easier.
3. Struggles can help couples work together and come up with solutions.
Plato is credited with saying that “necessity is the mother of invention.” You will only come up with a solution when you know you need one. When you’re facing a crisis in your marriage, what you each need often becomes clearer. A spouse can dismiss or deny what the other needs, but that’ll only prolong the problem. It’s better to work together to create a solution that meets both of your needs. When couples get on the same page in their marriage, they can work together to come up with real-life solutions to their problems.
Sound off: What do you need to refocus your attention on in your marriage?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some ways I can focus my attention on you better?”