As a former college professor and public school teacher for more than 24 years, I know that it’s hard to do something that you were never taught how to do. That holds true whether you’re trying to master math or trying to master marriage as a husband. You can’t grow if you don’t know.
When my son was 13, he wanted to know what it took to become attractive and irresistible to women. I told him, I couldn’t speak for all women, but if he ever wanted to “outkick” his coverage and land an amazing woman like I did, then he simply needed to remember the acronym H.O.T.. I told him, every H.O.T. man is irresistible to his wife.
1. He’s humble.
I read in the Bible the other day in James 4:6-8, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” We’re not talking about false humility in deflecting praise and the adulation of others. An irresistible man is a humble man because he’s teachable. He admits when he doesn’t know the answer, and he’s not afraid to ask others for it. He’s humble enough to be patient with his wife as he learns her heart and how to love her better. He’s also willing to learn and listen to other seasoned husbands on how to be a better man.
And when he makes a mistake in his marriage, he’s willing to admit when he’s wrong; he’s the first to apologize, to forgive, and make amends, putting her needs before his own. He’s irresistible to his wife because he doesn’t allow his ego or stubborn pride to push his wife away. He shows his internal strength by humbly admitting his struggles to his wife instead of hiding them.
2. He’s obedient.
This is not a word most men embrace, but it’s a character trait most wives find irresistible. It speaks to a man’s ability to respect authority, especially God’s authority. A wife knows that a husband who respects authority OUTSIDE the home is also a husband who won’t abuse his authority IN the home. An obedient man is willing to step up when it’s difficult and even when it’s unpopular. When things go wrong, an obedient man accepts responsibility for it, because as a leader, he knows that even though it may not be his fault, it’s always his responsibility.
He doesn’t shy away from his role as a leader; he courageously embraces it, and in turn, he earns the respect of his wife and children, because he’s leading by example, not excuses. And how can a wife resist a man who’s obedient in loving and leading his family?
3. He’s trustworthy.
They say a man is only as good as his word. If that’s true, then a trustworthy man who speaks the truth in love and rather loses the woman he loves than lie to her is darn right irresistible to women. Because most women consider trustworthy men to be an endangered species. If you don’t believe me, just ask any wife who’s been lied to, betrayed, or deceived by a man. I learned this lesson the hard way from my first marriage. I discovered that it may take years to build trust, but it only takes a minute or a moment to ruin it.A trustworthy man doesn’t hide, withdraw, isolate, or keeps secrets from his wife.
A trustworthy man doesn’t hide, withdraw, isolate, or keeps secrets from his wife. If you want to become irresistible to your wife, be trustworthy: choose disclosure over deception; heart honesty over hurt feelings; and sharing over secrecy. I know being humble, obedient, and trustworthy probably aren’t the usual things you hear from women when they’re looking for “Mr. Right”; but trust me, when it comes to being married, these character traits are usually at the top of the list of what women say went wrong in the marriage after a divorce.
Sound off: What do you think it takes to be the husband your wife can’t resist?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you think are your most attractive qualities?”