My family was still celebrating several days after our team won the Super Bowl. I had spent years passing generations of loyal fandom on to my kids, so when our team won the Lombardi Trophy for the first time ever, it was a big deal in our house. The parade was going to be the next day, and we decided at the last minute to be crazy. We flew there in the middle of the night so my son and I could go. On two hours of sleep, we woke up early and staked out a place on the parade route. It was freezing cold, and my son was so tired he fell asleep on the street while wrapped up in a blanket. People kept asking me why I was standing over a homeless person. “No, that’s just my son,” I repeatedly said.
To this day, that’s my son’s favorite memory from his childhood. With a huge smile, he says, “Remember when we went to the parade and I slept on the street?” Being at the parade was fun, but it’s because we did something spontaneous and unexpected together. That’s what made it so great. It’s tough to predict what experiences are going to be core memories for our sons. We just need to take every opportunity to try to create as many memories as we can. Here are 5 core memories to create with your son.
1. Create a wild boy weekend.
One of our All Pro Dad writers, Bobby Cooley, woke his son up in the middle of the night and took him on a “secret adventure.” He took his son to a cabin on a hunting trip, but he made it into a greater experience. They didn’t see any animals they were hoping to see, but that didn’t matter to his son. Take your son away for an adventure. Go river rafting, tubing, kayaking, ride ATVs, or play paintball. Maybe set up an obstacle course for him to complete. Make dinner over a fire pit and sit underneath the stars drinking soda and eating junk food he’s typically not allowed to eat. Boys love adventure, but an adventure with their dads is unforgettable.
2. Have him write out the perfect day and then do it.
There have been so many times I’ve felt like I knew exactly what my son wanted to do only to be shocked when I actually asked him. You may have to ask him to write a money’s no object perfect day and one that’s within reason. But this is a perfect way to find out what he would really love to do with you. Once you get his plan there’s only one thing left, to actually do it and maybe add things here and there to make it even better.
3. Recreate your favorite memory.
What is your favorite memory from your childhood? When I was seven years old my dad took me to my first major league baseball game. Afterward he took me to a diner for pancakes. Best night ever. So, when my son turned seven I did the same thing. I recently asked him his favorite memories from childhood and that night was the second thing he mentioned. Your child would probably love to have a similar experience to the one you had as a kid.
4. Something out of the ordinary and spur of the moment.
A friend of mine was training for a marathon and asked his son to ride his bike alongside. Halfway into the run it started pouring. His son said, “Isn’t this great?!” Those little moments are the best. Go play with your son in the rain. Do a spontaneous polar bear plunge together.
5. Pick an achievable goal to accomplish together.
The book of James (1:12) says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial.” Perseverance leads to blessing. We all need perseverance when we pursue a goal and what better way to model that for your son than to do it together. Maybe it’s climbing to the top of a mountain, running a 5K or even a marathon, learning how to play a song on the piano or guitar. Find something you’re both passionate about accomplishing, or maybe it’s something he’s passionate about that you need to get on board. He’ll always remember how you taught each other, encouraged each other, and how you accomplished the goal together.
Sound off: What core memories stand out to you most from your childhood?
Huddle up with your son and ask, “What would be your perfect day?”