I ran up the stairs with a trash bag in hand. Marching into my daughter’s room, I started picking up her favorite toys and tossing them in the bag. After listening to the way my daughter spoke to my wife disrespectfully, it enraged me. I wanted my daughter to know she can’t speak to my wife that way. I thought taking her toys away would teach that lesson. After begging and pleading from my daughter, I threw the bag in my car with every intention to donate all her toys. Thinking I was standing up for my wife in a heroic way, I was escalating the issue. This was obviously not my proudest moment, but luckily, I have a wife who coached me through my emotions to help me find a better way of communicating the value of “respect” to our daughter.
While I didn’t donate her toys that day, my wife and I sat our daughter down to reinforce what’s appropriate and what’s not in our house. I needed a coach in that emotional crisis, and my wife stepped in at the moment of need. But if I hadn’t been coachable in that moment, it wouldn’t have helped. Learning how to be coachable is about recognizing that you don’t always have the best techniques and there is room for growth and continuous improvement. Here are 5 reasons to become a more coachable father.
1. Stronger Relationships
Being coachable opens the door to deeper, more meaningful connections with your kids. When you’re open to feedback and willing to learn, you create an environment where honest communication can flourish. Imagine your oldest daughter tells you it hurts her feelings when you leave her out of games that you play with her other sibling. A coachable father listens and makes the decision to start including her rather than come up with reasons to justify why you weren’t involving her. When a kid knows her dad willingly listens and acts on her concerns, a stronger bond of trust is built in the relationship.
2. More Effective Parenting
Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all; what works for one child or age may not work for another. Being coachable allows you to adapt your parenting style as your children grow and their needs change. You’ll be more open to learning from parenting articles like this one, your own parents, and even your kids. For instance, you might notice that your disciplinary methods aren’t working with your strong-willed toddler. A coachable father would seek advice, read parenting books, or read blogs like this one. This flexibility in your approach can lead to more effective parenting and stronger bonds with your children at every stage of development.
3. Personal Growth
When you’re open to learning and improving, you’re more likely to seek out mentors, take constructive criticism positively, and continuously work on your parenting skills. Join an All Pro Dad chapter, where alongside other dads, you’ll grow not just as a father, but as a person. A coachable father gains new perspectives and strategies to tackle common parenting challenges but isn’t afraid to seek help. Without the willingness to be coachable, you cannot grow, and without growth, who you are now is who you will always be. Is that the version of you that your wife and kids need? Don’t let a lack of growth hold you back from being the man your wife and kids deserve.
4. Career Advancement
Being coachable in your personal life bleeds naturally into your professional life. It allows you to be more humble, push yourself, and let others see your value. Coachable employees are valuable team players and/or successful leaders. This attitude can lead to a potential promotion or increased job satisfaction, which can benefit your family. The skills you develop through being coachable at home—such as active listening and adaptability—directly translate to your roles at work.
5. Positive Role Modeling
When you demonstrate coachability, your kids learn that it’s OK not to have all the answers and that seeking help or advice is a sign of strength, not weakness. Imagine your child sees you asking for help with a parenting challenge or admitting when you’ve made a mistake. These moments teach invaluable lessons about humility, continuous learning, and self-improvement. By modeling coachability, you’re preparing your children to navigate a world that values adaptability and lifelong learning.
Sound off: Why do you think some men just aren’t coachable?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “How do you decide whose advice to take and whose to ignore?”