5 Things to Master as a Dad

I purchased a subscription to MasterClass, a site that streams courses taught by professionals in many industries and on many topics. On a drive one day, I was listening to a course while my kids, who were sitting in the back of the car, started arguing for the millionth time. Feeling like a failed parent and exhausted from trying to figure out how to help them get along, I perused the contents of the MasterClass app to see if it had any courses on parenting. None. I was on my own.

Knowing my kids, though, I started singing a catchy song they liked. Immediately, they started singing along and laughing. As a dad, I had already mastered “changing the topic.” It got me thinking about what other dad skills I had already learned and which ones I still need to focus on. To truly excel, here are 5 things to master as a dad.

1. Transparency

Being open and honest with your children, even when difficult or uncomfortable, sets a powerful example. When you’re transparent, you create an environment where your children feel safe to open up to you. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your kids. Let them see that you’re human, too, with your own struggles and imperfections. This doesn’t mean oversharing or burdening them with adult problems but rather showing them that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that it’s healthy to express them.

2. Prioritization

We often believe that work must be our number one priority. While work is undoubtedly important for providing for your family, it’s essential to remember that your role as a husband and father comes first. This doesn’t mean neglecting your professional responsibilities but finding ways to ensure your family knows they’re your top priority. It might mean leaving work on time to make it to your child’s soccer game or setting aside dedicated family time where work calls and emails are off-limits.

3. Empathy

Empathy involves hearing your kids’ words and genuinely trying to see the world from their perspective. Practice active listening when your children speak to you. Ask questions to better understand their thoughts and feelings. Remember that what might seem trivial to you could be a big deal in their world. By showing empathy, you’re teaching your children that their feelings are valid and that they can come to you with any problem, big or small.

4. Self-Discipline

Author and former Navy Seal Jocko Willink says, “Discipline equals freedom.” Mastering discipline means you are free to remain calm and patient, even in the face of frustrating behavior. It requires emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions while also understanding and influencing the emotions of others. Self-discipline is key to balancing your emotional highs and lows. Give yourself adequate rest, fast from something, like food or video games, and practice thinking before reacting. Disciplining yourself will help you become a more patient and loving father.

5. Leading

Fathers are the first and most influential role models. They will learn more from what you do than from what you say. Demonstrate the values and behaviors you want to see in your children. Show them what it means to be kind, responsible, and hardworking. Let them see you apologize when wrong, persevere when things are tough, and treat others respectfully. Leadership also means being actively involved in your children’s lives. Take an interest in their hobbies, help them with their homework, and guide them through life’s challenges. By being a strong leader in your family, you’re preparing your children to become leaders in their own lives.

Sound off: What additional dad skills should every dad practice?