Bill’s 1966 Mustang GT Fastback is the envy of the neighborhood. Every Saturday, he washes the exterior, vacuums the interior, wipes down the surfaces, and takes it for a test drive. When he returns, he works on the engine, polishes the chrome, and tests the plugs.
Check ups, oil changes, maintenance, preventative maintenance, filters. You name it and Bill is all over taking care of his sweet ride.
Bill and Kim’s marriage, on the other hand, is well overdue for a 24,000 mile check up. It doesn’t help that they skipped routine maintenance at 5,000, 10,000, 15,000, and 20,000 miles. Sparks aren’t firing, they’re rusty in places, mistimings abound, and they’re well below peak performance.
Fact is, Bill and Kim need to seek marriage counseling to talk over basic maintenance. It’s not all Bill’s fault; it’s not all Kim’s fault either. The problem is they’re taking each other, and their marriage, for granted.
If Bill’s story sounds familiar, check out these 5 reasons to tune up your marriage:
1. You didn’t marry each other for second best.
Nobody looks around, starts dating, then proposes marriage based on “pretty-good,” “Ho-hum,” or “I guess that’ll do.” No, you first proposed marriage to your lovely wife because she knocked your socks off, bowled you over, and caused you to move heaven and earth to know that she loved you too. That quality of love and commitment deserves a regular check-up. You didn’t marry her for ho-hum and you certainly don’t need it now.
2. The kids.
We say it a lot around here, but it bears repeating. The best thing you can do for your children is to work on the marriage. If you’re a dad, then love their mother. If you’re a mother, then love their dad. We replace the tires on the car because we’re carrying precious cargo. Well, your marriage is carrying precious cargo too.
“An ounce of prevention,” the cliché goes, “is worth a pound of cure.” The point of a tune up is to avoid more expensive repairs down the road.
4. The relationship won’t run itself.
Marriage, just like any significant investment, does not run itself. The A/C in your home won’t change its own air-filters, the tires in your car won’t fill themselves, and you won’t know your cholesterol is creeping the wrong way without a check-up. Likewise, even a great marriage requires periodic assessment.
5. Growth is more fun than stagnation.
Everything else aside, a well-oiled relationship is simply that much more fun. Stagnation can be a slippery slope, but a marriage that’s constantly in the reevaluation business gains positive momentum in the same way.
So don’t be nervous about that tune up. Odds are, it will lead to some of the best times you’ve ever had.
- 4 Ways to Know When it’s Time for Marriage Counseling
- Finding a Good Marriage Counselor: Stacking the Deck in Your Favor
- 7 Ways Marriage is Like Baseball
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Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your wife tonight and go over the 5 reasons. Ask her which one you can work on together.