Guys, let’s be honest for a minute, there are times when marriage just isn’t fun. They start when the things that caused you to fall in love with your wife are the very things that are absent in your relationship—times when her fun personality, her sweet spirit, and her bubbly self isn’t there like normal. It may be because she’s stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, or maybe, it’s just that time of the month.
Regardless of the reasons, every man knows what it’s like to be around his wife when she isn’t fun to be around. And what he does (or doesn’t do) in those times is important for the success of his marriage. Here are 5 key reminders of what to do when your wife is not fun to be around.
1. Give her space.
Guys, this requires that we not try to fix our wives. I’ll be the first to admit that I naturally am a fixer. But I’ve learned that my good intentions are usually more hurtful than helpful. When your wife isn’t fun to be around, she doesn’t want solutions; she often just wants space—and if we’re wise, we let her have it.
2. Do less talking and more listening.When a woman feels heard, it helps her feel understood.
Ask any wife, and she will be quick to tell you that good communication in marriage is important to wives. But communication is a two-way street that involves both talking and listening. In the moments when your wife isn’t fun to be around, it’s probably best that you are quick to listen and slow to speak. When a woman feels heard, it helps her feel understood. For that reason, be a good listener.
3. Relieve her of stress.
Every wife has stress, whether on the job, as a stay at home mom, or just because of the overwhelming length of her household to-do list. Coming to the rescue of your stressed-out wife may mean something as simple as relieving her of household duties like doing the dishes, ordering out one night a week, or simply taking the kids away for a few hours to give her some personal time. When your wife isn’t fun to be around, stress is often the culprit, so swoop in and come to the rescue for her.
4. Be her chief encourager.
If we’re not careful, it’s easy for spouses to pick each other apart and become each other’s chief critic. However, something helpful and even healing happens when a husband intentionally goes out of his way to daily encourage his wife with words of affirmation and acts of kindness. Your wife fell in love with you because of the way you made her feel. Why not start making her feel that way again, especially when she isn’t fun to be around?
5. Sacrificially love her.
Marriage is often a roller coaster. And the one thing your wife wants from you more than anything else is to know that she is loved, on both her good days and bad days. As husbands, we want every day to be a good day, but that just isn’t reality. We made a commitment for better or for worse, and one of the greatest ways we can keep that commitment is to sacrificially love our wives and be their rock, regardless of what kind of day it is.
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “How can I better love you on your bad days?”