It only took a moment. I was standing on a ladder in my garage, reaching for a box of toys while my toddler played a few feet away. When I came back down the ladder, she was nowhere to be seen. My heartbeat quickened as I stepped out onto the driveway calling her name. I was about to panic when an elderly neighbor walking her dog caught my daughter starting to wander away and brought her back before she could get into any trouble. With my heart still pounding, I swept my daughter up and took her inside. The bin could wait ’til later.
You’ve probably heard the African proverb that says “it takes a village to raise a child,” which speaks of the need for a whole community to interact with and share the task of raising happy, healthy children. On this occasion, my elderly neighbor looking out for my toddler showed the best of that. But there are also times when we see society hurting our kids. We need to be aware of dangers in the village, places where other voices in our kids’ lives are not helping them become healthy or happy. Instead, they are letting them down and teaching them the wrong lessons. Here are 7 ways we see society hurting our kids.
1. Stealing Their Innocence
There was a time not that long ago when society believed it had a responsibility to protect the innocence of our children. This is why certain movies were only available at the back of the store and certain shows were only on later at night. This is no longer the case, as the sheer amount of explicit material in our kids lives in advertising, shows, and on their devices is overwhelming.
2. Warping Their Sense of Beauty
For generations, parents and teenage daughters have argued about what they should be allowed to wear. This argument gets harder when our kids are bombarded with images of “perfect” women showing more and more skin in ads, magazine covers, shows, and in the clothing section of the department store. The images they see often confuse our kids’ understanding of beauty with being attractive and showing off as much skin as possible.
3. The Dopamine Slot-Machine Part I
Social media algorithms are designed to keep our kids watching and clicking. No matter which social media platform they are looking at, the program is designed to make them look for something else that will stimulate their developing brains. The end result is that our kids start turning into social media addicts: scrolling, clicking, and liking all day every day.
When our kids’ value is dependent on their social media popularity, we are setting them up for trouble.4. The Dopamine Slot-Machine Part II
People have always struggled with a desire to be liked by others. In this generation, we’ve given them a means to measure their popularity—by the clicks, likes, and follows on their social media accounts. When our kids’ value is dependent on their social media popularity, we are setting them up for trouble.
5. No Objective Truth
We are well past the days of sitcoms that reinforced family values like compassion, humility, and respect. While many of us use the phrase “live your/my truth” to mean “live authentically,” many people use that mantra to ignore the facts and make up their own stories. This teaches our kids that there’s no such thing as objective truth. This leads them to question those things we hold most dear.
6. Telling Them Money Buys Happiness
Teenagers have more disposable income than every other demographic in our society. Marketers know this, and target advertising at teens more than any other age group. These ads promise our kids that if they just dress a certain way, own the newest toy, or follow some other trend, they can buy themselves happiness and security (at least until the next thing comes along).
7. Fast-Forward to Intimacy
In most shows, a man and a woman meet for the first time, and the next thing you know, they’re in bed together. We never see the steps people are supposed to go through in a romantic relationship, where intimacy is gradual and appropriate to the relationship’s circumstances. Is it any wonder so many of our kids feel lonely and confused when (rushed and inappropriate) intimacy isn’t what they expected it to be?
Sound off: In what other ways do you see society hurting our kids?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What’s your favorite thing to watch? Why?”