miserable life

7 Ways to Have a Perfectly Miserable Life

“The good life consists of deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living. The meaningful life adds one more component: using these same strengths to forward knowledge, power or goodness.” – Martin Seligman

I believe we are created to be loving, useful, and to thrive in the joy that comes from living obediently to God’s Word. So where is it that we often go so wrong and wind up with a miserable life? Dr. Chuck Wilson, a senior pastor of the United Methodist Church, recently gave a tongue-in-cheek, reverse psychology message about this topic. He was a great mentor in my young married and parenting life, and I found this message to be purposeful in fatherhood. If you insist on an existence of misery, here is exactly how to do that…and here’s hoping that you will do exactly the opposite.

1. Dwell on your Troubles

“Poor me. Nobody understands my troubles.” Be sure to insist that your own troubles are more important than those of others and, by all means, focus only on your own misery.

2. Develop Hypersensitivity

Be constantly on the lookout for people who slight you and hurt you. Do not share with others what has happened, but instead insist they read your mind by supernatural powers. Then be offended when nobody stands up for you. Don’t participate in church and community life, but do get very offended when you aren’t included.

3. Nurture the Grievances in your Heart

Never let anything go and refuse to bury the hatchet. Use them as excuses for wrong behavior and also to take revenge on others.

4. Avoid Responsibilities

Refuse all opportunities to serve. Tell people you are over obligated or you aren’t gifted enough. The best thing to do is be a parasite and live off the community, live off the church but never attempt to contribute.

5. Be Critical of Everything

Look for the flaws in everything and everyone, and have an opinion on all of it. Just flat out disagree with everything, and make sure everyone knows exactly what you don’t like.

6. Insist Upon Your Own Rights

It is not your worry how it affects others, just make sure nobody walks over you. Treat all with great suspicion, and watch them like a hawk. Look out only for number one.

7. Spend Your Money on Yourself

It’s yours, you worked hard for it, so why consider giving it away? For appearances, give just a little away so people think you’re generous, but hold onto almost all of it and spend it on yourself. Whenever a church or a charity asks for some say, “Money, money, money…all these people ever want is money.”

“If you keep these suggestions, it’s guaranteed you’ll have a perfectly miserable life, and you’ll make others miserable as well.” – Dr. Chuck Wilson.

Sound Off

What are some of the ways you bring joy and purpose to your family?

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