When our culture advises parents to “groom” their children for success, it typically encourages us to send our kids to the best schools or push them to squeeze out every possible SAT point they can muster. But what is often overlooked is our children’s integrity, the rudder that will steer their life’s ship. And integrity starts with keeping promises. If you really want your children to flourish, tell them what it means to keep your word, no matter what. When your kids say they will do something, they do. No questions asked.
If your children will live up to this principle, wherever they go, their reputation for being upstanding will make them outstanding. Equip them for success. Here are 8 ways to teach your children to keep their word.
1. Keep your word—always.
Like most clichés, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” contains practical wisdom. Children learn 100% of the time. Watching Dad back out of a promise will leave an imprint.
2. Model integrity in every aspect of your life.
Integrity isn’t selective. Dad the role model and Dad the leader amount to a broad sweep. Keeping our word is an example for so much more. Our integrity in all we say and do is the most powerful character lesson for our children.
Our integrity in all we say and do is the most powerful character lesson for our children.3. Look for opportunities to teach.
The family is a living, learning laboratory, a learning center where “teachable moments” abound. It’s a simple task to pause, point out a truth, then move on. “Look, Junior, that wasn’t easy; but we made the commitment to help pick up trash this morning and I’m glad we did. What do you think?”
4. Share stories of family character and examples of famous people.
Talk about family history that supports promise-keeping. Watch movies together such as Chariots of Fire and talk afterward. Highlight news items and personalities that illustrate the value of integrity.
5. Stay on top of the kids’ commitments.
Part of raising teenagers or raising younger kids means ongoing conversation and interest is a must. Cultivate an atmosphere where everything is on the table and you are familiar with your child’s life. We’re in a better position to help and encourage when we know what’s going on in our children’s lives.
6. Make it a priority to support your kids’ commitments.
Knowing is huge, but it’s not the whole picture. If we make it our priority to support our children’s obligations, then they can learn the habit of following through. “Dad knows about this, and I know he’s going to help if I need it.”
7. Don’t confuse support with letting them off the hook.
We all know parents who do kids’ homework for them, sell their Girl Scout cookies, or cough up a few dollars to bail them out. That’s not what we’re talking about here. Support means consultation, encouragement, “two heads are better than one,” and accountability when they fail.
8. Hold children accountable.
This is a hard one to get right. Child discipline is not always the same as punishment. Accountability is an extension of the support process and is specifically designed to help your child succeed. Accountability is for the child, not the parent. Failure in commitment is a learning opportunity, not a cue for the embarrassed parent to bail out the child and save face.
Sound off: How do you teach your kids to keep their word?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Why is it important to keep your word?”