The people of ancient Galatia (modern day Turkey) lived on a plain that was virtually indefensible, but they managed to survive there for nearly 600 years. How did they do it? When an enemy attacked, each man took his entire family with him to the battle. Wives and children stood a few hundred yards behind the Galatian soldiers to remind the men that if they lost, their enemy would own their families. Talk about an incentive to win a war!
As fathers, we are still at war for our families 2,500 years later. Although we may not have a shield and spear, we do have much better weapons at our disposal. Here are 10 battles for your modern family that you must fight and win.
1. Security
Ensuring security for your family requires more than putting a dead bolt on a door. The best security a dad can give is the knowledge that he is there, that he is dependable, and that his love is stronger than a rock. Self-discipline for dad = security for the family.
2. Fidelity
Is your family your top earthly affection? Or do you put your plans for the future first, or your job, or your hobbies? If your family is not your priority, then you have a battle for fidelity, and you’re going to have to win this one. When we aren’t faithful to our responsibilities, we teach our kids not to be faithful to theirs, and we fail to show up for our families in the ways they most need us. This is a battle about leadership.
3. Decency
Dads, we’re on the front lines with this one. We’re not talking prudishness here so much as respect and the fight against objectification. This battle begins with nurturing a positive self-concept and a firm grasp of the value and dignity of all God’s children. We should treat all people as if they are of infinite value, because they are. When we do that, our kids will turn into adults who do the same.
4. Safety
There’s a difference between putting your kids in a bubble and protecting them—a bubble results in naïveté, protecting results in safety. And there is a lot our kids encounter that threatens their safety. We want our kids to know what the threats are to their physical, emotional, and spiritual selves as well as to know what to do when they encounter them. This requires us to set boundaries that minimize our kids’ exposure to unnecessary risks.
5. Solvency
Winning this fight is key to your family’s future. First, pledge never to spend more than you earn. Then work hard to retire your debt. If we lose this one, our kids will wind up responsible for cleaning up a money mess we made (or they’ll pass the same mess on to their own kids someday).
6. Peace
If there’s tension in your home, if there’s bullying at school, or if there are broken relationships we ignore, then there’s no peace, no security, and no sense of safety for our kids. Like the song says, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” Achieving world peace can only happen if everybody in the world achieves peace in their homes.
7. Health
Obesity and type 2 diabetes used to be reserved for older adults. Now, these diseases have become prevalent in children. Eliminating obesity alone would free up the medical resources necessary to provide universal health coverage at no additional cost. Your family can fight this battle and win.
8. Education
The nation’s top educators agree that the team leader in any conversation about schooling must be the parent. Any number of factors account for the challenge it has become for kids to receive a solid education. Adequate sleep, home support, a balanced diet, a stable environment, and educational enrichment are within the grasp of your family. Teaching children? Training children? Dads, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise said it best: “Make it so.”
9. Balance
We know the way things look around us. No family communication. Ten plus hours of media saturation daily. Barely any family mealtime in the average week. The disappearing act that used to be family vacation. Televisions in the kids’ bedrooms. But that doesn’t mean we throw our hands in the air and fold. Fight the battle for a family ethos defined by balance. Be deliberate, and your kids will thank you.
10. Future
The future may be full of uncertainty, but we can win the battle for the future of the family if we take on these other battles now. The future is ours to take, but if we want to win the future, then the battle is now.
Sound off: What is the biggest battle you are fighting right now?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one battle we’re facing as a family, and how can we win?”