5 Practical Ways to Focus on Your Kids

When my wife and I followed the sound of our 10-year-old’s blood-curdling screams, we were surprised by what we found: our 4-year-old pulling her hair. Tired from her long first week at preschool, the 4-year-old mistakenly thought her sister had taken her cashews. We put her to bed early, which gave us the opportunity to spend the rest of the evening with our oldest daughter. Instead of giving us sass and wit, she was sweet, funny, and playful. I realized she had our undivided attention for the first time since her sister was born. And she needed our attention.

As a father, dividing attention among family, work, hobbies, mobile devices, and friendships can strain our focus. Balancing these aspects of our lives is critical, but if we’re not careful, we forget to give attention to our children. Here are 5 practical and self-tested ways to improve your focus on your kids.

1. Implement daily device-free time.

We all know devices are significant distractions but are used for good. To limit their use, I’ve started implementing daily device-free time in our household. This means setting aside a specific period each day, from 6 to 8 p.m., when all devices are turned off and put away. No phones, no tablets, no laptops. As a family, we engage with each other without digital distractions. Conversations at dinner became richer, playtime became more imaginative, and the overall quality of our family time improved dramatically. It’s incredible how much more you can focus on your kids when you’re not constantly checking your phone.

2. Schedule regular one-on-one time.

Another strategy I’ve found incredibly effective is scheduling regular one-on-one time with each family member. This includes date days with my wife during school hours and special “kid dates” with each of my daughters. Take the kids to a park, visit the library, or even ride bikes around the neighborhood. The key is that it’s dedicated time for just the two of you, free from the distractions of siblings or other family members.

3. Create and maintain family traditions.

Family traditions have become essential to how we focus on each other. We have “Friday Movie Nights,” where we all pile onto the couch with popcorn and watch a film together. We go to church together on Sundays and pray before every meal. We even have “Trampoline Time,” which allows our kids to exhaust all their energy before bed. Some are silly, but these traditions give us all something to look forward to and provide regular opportunities for focused family time. They create shared experiences and memories that strengthen our bonds.

4. Don’t interrupt when kids are sharing.

I’ve learned from my daughters that kids do not like being interrupted. It is a break in focus from their thoughts, and they feel we are not listening to them. As adults, we often have the urge to jump in with advice, corrections, or our own stories. But by doing so, we risk shutting down our children’s desire to communicate with us. Instead, listen thoroughly to let them complete their thoughts before responding. It shows them that their thoughts and feelings are valued. It encourages them to continue sharing with me, fostering deeper connections and better communication.

5. Prioritize and communicate individual needs.

Every family member has different needs, and it’s essential to recognize and prioritize these individual requirements. My youngest daughter needs quiet time to build her LEGOs or play with her dolls alone, while my oldest needs an imaginative storytelling game the whole family can get into. Come up with a way for each person in the family to communicate those needs, especially if your kids are older. Hold weekly family meetings to discuss their thoughts, feelings, or ideas openly. By acknowledging and addressing individual needs, we create an environment where everyone feels seen and valued. This, in turn, makes it easier to focus on each other meaningfully.

Sound off: What’s your biggest obstacle to focusing on your kids when they need you most?