I was halfway through college when I realized I had no idea how to do my taxes. My dad always did them for me. Honestly, I didn’t even realize I needed to file anything until I heard two of my friends talking about it. So I asked my dad to teach me. He agreed and brought me into his office. He even had me sit in his chair. Then he proceeded to tell me what information to type in. At the end of the process, there was one problem. He hadn’t explained anything, so I still knew as little as I had known before. And I didn’t learn how to do my taxes until after he died.
My dad liked getting things done as quickly as possible. Stopping to explain each detail would have been more difficult, tiring, and certainly would have taken a lot longer. It’s tempting to be parents who do everything for their child because it takes less time and effort And let’s face it—we’re going to do it better. Unfortunately, the ones who end up hurt by it are our kids. Here are 5 dangers of doing everything for your child.
Dads need to give guidance on how to handle responsibilities, not take the responsibility out of kids’ hands.1. Dependency
The road to adulthood becomes significantly more difficult for children whose parents do everything for them. They become dependent on their parents. But our goal is to prepare them for the world. Dads need to give kids guidance on how to handle responsibilities, not to take the responsibility out of their hands.
Think about it: Are you giving your kids age-appropriate opportunities to build independence?
2. Atrophy
Our muscles grow stronger when they face resistance. If you do everything for your kids, they will never develop their muscles in problem solving, overcoming obstacles, or simply taking the initiative to complete necessary tasks. When the time comes for them to launch, they won’t be strong enough.
Think about it: When your kids face adversity, are you more likely to let them struggle or to remove the challenge?
3. Irresponsibility
When we do everything for our children, they never learn what it means to take ownership of something. They don’t grow into a person who can be relied upon. Unfortunately, their irresponsible behavior reflects poorly on their parents, who often end up making excuses for them. This only reinforces their irresponsibility. Our kids need to own responsibilities and accept the consequences when they fail.
Think about it: When your kids act irresponsibly, do you let them face the consequences or do you make excuses for them?
4. Entitlement
They will become accustomed to having things done for them. It will lead to an attitude of assuming they are deserving of special treatment. The end result is a person with an inflated ego and excessive pride.
Think about it: Does your child expect to have things done for him or her?
5. Fear
Tackling new things can be intimidating and by doing things for our kids, we think we are saving them from fear. However, in reality, we are nurturing it. We are communicating to our kids that they don’t have the ability to overcome concerns and solve problems. That raises their fear about the world and their place in it.
Think about it: Are you giving your children opportunities to conquer their fears?
Sound off: What are some other dangers of parents who do everything for their child?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Why do you think it’s important to learn how to be responsible?”