Humorist Martin Mull once described Hollywood as “High school with money.” Sometimes I look at the upwardly mobile businessmen with their cellular phones, cutting deals and racing off to another oh-so-important meeting, and I think so many dads are just the same way. We’re like teen-agers, responding to peer pressure and trying to impress people. The only difference is, we’ve got a little more money and a little more power. But the place where we have the most potential for productive power is the place we use it the least-in our homes.
Take a look at your schedule. Where do you need to be in the next week? What appointments do you have? I can guarantee that the one place where your presence will be most needed is in your home.
I, too, wish I could leave my work at work. But even at home, I squeeze in time for a business call that could have waited. I use up my energies on things that really don’t benefit my family. I end up playing little games, wasting time here and there.
Here I am, the “president of the National Center for Fathering” and I’m disappointed in my own answer to the question “Is my fathering really a priority?”
What about you? Are you doing everything in your power to make yourself a better father? Are you taking advantage of the resources at your disposal, like community or church men’s groups? Have you read any books on fathering lately? Have you talked to your wife about how you can improve as a father? Or do you find yourself playing little games-making excuses, short-changing your family, winning insignificant battles, but losing the war?
When the communists took over China, one writer described in a little poem the terror he saw. Perhaps it’s appropriate that the writer is unknown, though I’ve committed his words to memory. I know his poem has challenged the hearts of many, and I’d like you to think about these words.
Today Shanghai is burning
and I am dying, too.
But there is no death more certain
than the death inside of you.
Some men will go down in shrapnel,
and some will go down in flames,
but most men go inch by inch
while playing little games.
What about you? Are you spending your time just playing little games, or are you really dedicated to doing what’s best for your children?
