self improvement

Self-Improvement vs. Self-Defeat

There is a major difference between self-improvement and self-defeat. Self-defeat is when we give up when we face adversity. Self-improvement is when we seize the opportunity to grow and mature through adversity, making us better men. In my life, from early adulthood to the present, there has been a steady progression of learning and self-improvement. I’m passionate about passing on what I have learned and always learning from others. I do my best to think of the big picture and ask, “Who do I want to be in 10, 20, and 30 years?”

We can’t control our circumstances, but we can certainly control our own attitudes.

The self-defeating man plays the role of victim instead of student. We can’t control our circumstances, but we can certainly control our own attitudes. When we are always seeking improvement, we will not live a failed life. Which one are you? Self-improvement or self-defeat? Here’s a comparison of the two.

Financial Problems

Nothing brings out the stress and feelings of defeat as much as money. Finding himself in a hole, the defeatist will bury his head in the sand to avoid dealing with an overwhelming situation. The self-improver will analyze the situation and develop a strategy to come out stronger than he was before. He knows a lot of pain and changes are going to be required to reach a good outcome.


Raising children is a tough and thankless responsibility. To reach the glorious moments of graduations and other achievements, the self-improver understands the full and long-term commitment that needs to be made. The defeatist heads for the door when fatherhood calls for him to sacrifice. As soon as that door closes, he just creates a deeply painful mess.

Bad Habits

We all have vices. We know they are vices when they are things we enjoy doing but are damaging. It might take a bit for that damage to show itself, but it’s coming sure as the sunrise. The person seeking to improve is willing to give up short-term pleasure for long-term gain. The defeatist will take the path of least resistance.


It’s the age of instant gratification. Careers rarely work that way. It takes years to acquire knowledge and experience, and those are the things that move us ahead. That is what the self-improving mindset is all about. The self-defeating person will grumble and complain themselves right into the unemployment line. Work hard and develop marketable skills. Don’t be a liability; be a valuable asset.

Sound off: In what areas have you practiced self-improvement over self-defeat?

Huddle up with your friends and ask about the areas they think you need to improve in as a man.