Because of the type of job I have, I have a larger social media presence—but even people with lots of followers can still feel lonely. Why? Because those are not real relationships. No matter how many online friends we have, in this age of super-connectedness online, we are relationally disconnected. We get so busy keeping up with social media friends that we lose touch with the friends and family who really matter, the relationships that combat loneliness. Why do we have this tendency? It is because real relationships can be hard, messy, and require more fruit of the Spirit, such as patience and kindness.
Which do you think is more important? Dozens of posts a day or to love our neighbors with time, attention, and affection? Which of these two is more valuable: Hearts on Instagram or hugging your neighbor? So, remember those closest to you. For me, it’s my wife Susan, my children, my mother and brothers, and four or five close friends. Here are 3 steps to overcoming loneliness.
Note: I’m going to start with the least intensive way to connect and work up to the ways that have the most power to do away with your feelings of loneliness and help others with theirs.
1. Text
I try to text my children every day. It can be something as simple as an “I love you,” a Bible verse, or a silly emoji. I want them to know I’m thinking about them. If you text those you care about, be sure to respond when they text you.
2. Call
Did you know that when children hear their mother’s voice, the children’s bodies manufacture more of the hormone that produces positive feelings? If you’ve gotten out of the habit of talking by phone to those you care about, reach out to them today. Better yet, make it a point to call your close friends and family regularly. Studies on loneliness show that a simple phone call can lift your spirits and the spirits of the person you’re talking to.
3. Face-to-face or Facetime
“I’m so busy” is the mantra of our society. We are so busy checking our texts that we can’t look at our wives when they talk to us. We can’t watch TV with our teenagers because we’re answering emails. We can’t meet a friend for dinner because we’re “crazy busy.” The best way to become less lonely is to spend more time with people we care about. Then, when we’re with them, we need to really be with them—no screens, no pretense, no need to rush off somewhere. If you don’t have people in your life who you feel close to, push yourself to be with others so that you can develop face-to-face relationships. Volunteer, visit a church, join a club.
We each have to make the effort to make time, reach out, and connect with those we care about.Loneliness cannot be overcome alone. God created us for community. We each have to make the effort to make time, reach out, and connect with those we care about.
Earn some points! If you are married and your wife is struggling with loneliness, this iMOM article may help: How to Deal With Loneliness.
Sound off: Why do you think so many people are lonely these days?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is your idea of the best day?”