Have you ever spent time with someone and felt more drained than ever? Are there people in your life that always drain your energy? This person can be described as being a life sucker. One prominent reason is that they are constantly needing others to validate them or spend a majority of their time complaining. On the other hand, a value adder is someone who, like the name suggests, after you are with them you feel like there was value added to your life. They tend to consider the needs of others before their own. Value adders would rather give than receive and tend to give others a boost of energy rather than take it. The question is, which are you?
I know most of us want to answer this question with being a value adder, but unfortunately, there are few who actually live lifestyles that aren’t self-absorbed. So here are 3 things you need to do to become the value adder you desire to be.
1. Find Your Worth
Where do you seek your worth and value? Is it how successful you are? Is it how great of a father you are, or maybe does it depend on how well your marriage is going? From experience, I can tell you that your successes are not the answer to finding respect and removing your insecurities. Accomplishments may give you a feeling of momentary fullness, but once they fade, you will be thirsty for your next glass of validation. The cycle will continue until you find rest in an eternal sense of worth and significance.
Your successes are not the answer to finding respect and removing your insecurities.2. Change Your Mindset
Transforming your mind is important if you are seeking any change. Life suckers currently have a mindset of being self-absorbed. To become a value adder, you need to ask yourself these questions: Who can I encourage at work? Who haven’t I spoken to in a long time that I can call? How can I serve the community? What can I do to help my family?
3. Apply the Change
What good does it do if you do not act upon your changed mindset? Instead of just asking the questions of how you can think, you need to follow through with actions. Instead of just thinking about an encouraging phrase, actually sit down with a co-worker and say it to them. And instead of knowing the person you haven’t talked to in a long time, actually call them. Instead of thinking about ways on how to serve your community, go to a homeless shelter or give a kid a Christmas care package by participating in Operation Christmas Child. Instead of just thinking of ways to help your family, actually get your hands dirty and help wash the dishes, fold some laundry, or take time to help your kids with their math homework.
As we all know to build a new habit it takes 30 days. Apply your new mindset for this amount of time and see where it takes you. See the impact it has on your relationships and even on your personal health. Your impact will be long-lasting because you are choosing daily to change the lives around you for the better.
