state of your union

What is the State of Your Union?

The State of the Union is an annual address by the President of the United States to a joint session of Congress. The purpose of the address is to provide a report on the condition of our nation while allowing presidents to outline their plans and priorities.

No matter who is in office, there are always a wide range of opinions on how well our country is doing. I’ve yet to see one president deliver this address without an opposing opinion. It comes with the territory. But what happens when you believe your marriage is in great condition, but your wife doesn’t? Or vice versa?

I’ve been there and know of many other couples who have as well. No matter how hard it may be to come to the realization that our marriages are not as great as we thought, it needs to be addressed.

As couples, just like our government, we need to address where our marriage is and where it’s going.As couples, just like our government, we need to address where our marriage is and where it’s going. And we need to do it together. Here are some ways you can assess the state of your union and make sure it’s heading in a direction that pleases you and your wife.

  1. Ask questions. One of the best ways to learn the state of your union is to ask your wife.
  2. Get counseling. Counseling isn’t only for marriages on the brink of divorce. Bringing in an experienced person or couple can help you determine the state of your marriage.
  3. Get away. My wife and I attend a marriage retreat every single year. We learn something about each other and/or our marriage each year.
  4. Ask someone close to you. Sometimes, we don’t see what is really happening because we are in the middle of it. Asking a close friend or family member you trust can help you see things you don’t.
  5. Start journaling. Every couple should journal their marriage experiences. When you regularly journal and reflect, you will be able to see themes, reoccurring challenges, and even solutions to problems that can help you today.
  6. Date regularly. Spending time together, especially date nights, will provide a regular outlet to communicate without kids, work, and household duties. Focused time can bring clarity.
  7. Pray daily. Prayer time is intimate. When my wife and I pray together, we are able to intimately see each other in ways we’ve never seen. Praying together exposes what’s really going on inside.

Marriages that end in divorce don’t do so in an instant. It’s a gradual process that eventually leads to the point of no return in a couple’s mind. Regularly assessing the state of your union can bring awareness to challenges or potential problems that can be addressed and fixed, if needed. It can also reveal some great things in your marriage as well.

Huddle up with your wife and ask her to rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten.