Why do people get divorced? We live in a world where you can get divorced for almost any reason. For couples who are struggling, marriage may seem hopeless amid constant arguing and brokenness.
However, you can have a better marriage—maybe one stronger than you’ve seen to date. But it will take work. It takes considering the seemingly small things that ultimately can lead to divorce. Here are 4 things couples do that lead to short marriages.
1. They expect to think exactly like each other.
Why is it that we’re fine when we find out we disagree with a friend, but at home, we think we’re supposed to agree on everything? The truth is, you’re two different people, so you will have differing opinions. Healthy marriages don’t have an absence of conflict, but they do have the presence of love and peace. Resist the expectation that you will always agree on everything.Healthy marriages don’t have an absence of conflict, but they do have the presence of love and peace.
2. The relationship isn’t as high a priority as it should be.
Early in marriage, your relationship is the priority. Over time, other priorities start to creep in. Work and kids quickly become the priorities over your marriage. Instead of your and your spouse’s priorities bringing you closer together, they start to pull you in different directions. Learn to view your marriage as the most important relationship you have. All other relationships—in-laws, kids, work, friends—must take a lesser priority compared to your marriage.
3. They value being comfortable over agreement.
I was talking to a guy who’s struggling with his spouse. After talking for a while, I realized that he and his wife aren’t on the same page with making decisions. I explained, “Put it in park, and don’t drive forward on this matter until you and your spouse are in agreement.” It’s often easy and comfortable to charge forward and make decisions on your own. But in marriage, we are one, and we need to walk forward in agreement. The ability to have healthy, peaceful discussions on areas of disagreement is crucial in marriage. Often, couples don’t see eye to eye on finances, parenting, or political issues. So, it’s easier to go get what you want—the definition of comfort—than to work together toward agreement.
4. They confide more in their friends than in their spouses.
Infidelity can creep into a marriage in small ways. Today, it’s easier than ever to connect privately with an old friend on social media or in real life. But that’s how a lot of affairs start—long before sex. Cheating happens through a thousand small decisions, such as confiding too much in a friend of the opposite sex, that bring you to the actual act of infidelity. Instead of doing things like this, share your emotions with your spouse, making sure you confide well in your marriage.
Sound off: In your observation, why do people get divorced?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some things that make friendships better?”