hardships in marriage

10 Hardships in Marriage and How to Overcome Them

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Every marriage faces hardship. It’s a given. This list covers most of the common troubles, but your situation is unique. The key point here is to face the difficulty – whatever kind of struggle it is – together with your wife.

Do you remember your marriage vows?

“For better, for worse…”

“In sickness and in health…”

“For richer, for poorer…”

These promises presuppose tough times. We went into our marriage with our eyes open, so there’s really no excuse for not bringing everything we have to the table when things – once in a while – get dicey.

Here are 10 marital hardships and how to overcome them:

1. Financial Struggle:

The stress associated with money problems can be overwhelming. But in the end, it’s only money. And money has no power over your commitment to your relationship.

  • Commit to a plan
  • Live simply
  • Never keep financial secrets from your wife

2. Challenging Children:

Even the best behaved children in the world present challenges, and the number one casualty is always the relationship between mom and dad. So remember this: The marriage comes first. Not the kids, but the marriage. Nurture your relationship with your wife and you will be better equipped to deal with whatever the kids dish out. For single dads, it’s increasingly important to stay connected with your child’s mother as hard as that might be.

3. Immaturity:

Great relationships are supposed to mature over time. [Tweet This] If you still relate to one another the same way you did when you first married, then it’s past time for the marriage to grow up. Get involved in a couples group at your faith community. Love one another “out loud.” Invest in the marriage as if your life depends on it – because it does.

4. Unfaithfulness:

Marriages run into this hardship often. We may not sleep with other women, but we’re all guilty of being unfaithful when it comes to time, attention, priorities, the way we use our resources, and so much more. One way to deal with this is to recommit yourself to your wife. Woo her all over again. Make it clear where your priorities steer your time and attention.

5. Moving:

It’s a fact. Most Americans change careers several times. That often means moving across the state or across the world. Moving is a huge stress. Regardless if it’s because of your job or if it’s hers, make the decision to be 100% supportive and flat out refuse to whine. Do what it takes to get invested in the new community quickly. Find a church. Get involved. Live forward.

6. Sickness:

We forget how much we rely on one another until someone breaks down physically. If you’re the one still standing, do everything in your power to be a servant to your spouse. Sure it’s tough to do everything, but your attempt with an obvious willing spirit is going to make all the difference.

7. Depression:

Everyone goes through “the blues” at times in their lives. Here again, it’s about having the heart of a servant, about going the extra mile, and about putting the needs of your wife ahead of your own. Look to God for your source of happiness. Be a conduit of that joy to your spouse. And seek medical attention if necessary.

8. Disinterest:

Sometimes it happens the first year. Sometimes it takes a decade or so. Regardless of where we are on the time spectrum, disinterest or boredom can easily set in. Not feeling special about the relationship is a hardship for everyone, but it doesn’t have to be. Our job is to be intentional about the relationship. She didn’t fall for you in the first place without any effort on your part – so why stop now?

  • When was the last time you took her out on a date?
  • Have you told her lately how stunning she looks?
  • What about a day off devoted to her?

9. Career:

We have already talked about moving, but career issues can cause hardship without a change of location. Keep her in the loop. Ask her opinion about what you’re up to. Do everything in your power to protect family time and to promote a work culture that respects family values.

10. Empty Nest:

We invest a lot in the kids. If we’re not careful, our relationship with our spouse gets neglected. Guard against that day by investing in your wife now. Rather than mourn the children after they leave, try celebrating the freedom you now have to invest more time and interest in your marriage. Again, it’s all about being intentional.

Sound Off

Sound Off: What is the hardest thing you have ever overcome?

  • Mamamia

    My husband checked out early in our marriage when his mom was diagnosed during our first pregnancy
    After his mom died a month after our first child came I found out about his “interest” in a woman who he had begun to help with her emotional problems ( years later it came out it was because of her HUSBANDs abuse)

    So he was not only unwilling to learn how to be content and intentional in our relationship but he continues to disengage for his own self interests

    So many excuses but his original problem began when he departed from any care for the Lord

    I read how many times big changes and events can trigger departure from working upon marriage

    He simply proved over time to escape when things didn’t come easily

    He was a high achiever in school , sports and business where relations only required superficial interaction

    Even his adultery only cost him whatever he wanted with small effort or sacrifice

    Live was on his terms and he knew I would forgive and submit as I did so willingly even though I tried unsuccessfully to rate his full loyalty

    My take away after 35 years and discovering a lengthy adulterous relationship wherein he made more of a business agreement with a woman whose aim was never marriage but what she described as the “more glamorous ” role as a mistress

    Eventually she requires him to provide not marriage but children to keep his secret life secret

    What he was unwilling to do for our marriage and family has cost him and us everything in order to pay her and now support the two children he gave her
    She did not stay home to care for them and did not go to work but back to get another degree

    All the while we supported the children and the house he bought her and the car he paid for without my knowledge

    He finally left us …to live alone though I wanted to work it out

    His life of achievement was superior and his refusal to put God and our marriage ahead of other things and people has cost him and us everything

    The OW wants nothing to do with him and he doesn’t even want to hear her name spoken of

    He has retreated from everyone except for a few times a month he sees our children and perhaps the children of adultery

    He lives alone with a dog
    He works pay check to pay check

    Once a top producer with multiple luxury cars , Homes , custom made Italian suits

    I homeschooled our children practiced stewardship dreads from Costco since I did all the housework and did not want our children to grow up thinking help did all the work

    Two different world views

    I admired him
    I rejoiced when he came home and served him gladly
    I hoped in his return to the Lord and our family

    He checked out when life of a family man became realty

    I was blessed and contented myself all the while as unto the Lord yet marriage to a man who rejects the Lord who bought him eventually left me lonely and hopeful for when he would be moved to turn back to God and our relationship

    The involvement with the OW and many others …took his heart away

    He has lost everything but the Lord provides for us

    Being content with little and such things as we have is a gift from God

    His word is our sufficiency

    Yet sorrow is one part of our marriage that I deal with daily

    Being rejected , abandoned emotionally and physically is a deep wound that somehow is present daily

    I sorrow for the wonderful possibilities he denied himself , me and even our children as well as the children of adultery who will never know what a true family is

    He allowed his pride to keep him from accepting any knowledge

    His ego told him he did not need any instruction about marriage and any offers or information brought to him through anyone was refused

    He left off learning or going to fellowships because he “knew it all” and what he didn’t know he felt was not important
    He got all he needed from anyone who did not require anything much

    A man in self imposed exile

    When we married he was all in for a while
    When we moved back near his old friends and he changed careers the associations with those who were still single or had a low view of God and marriage prevailed

    He would not consider that he might have vulnerabilities in areas that were in need of protecting

    He enjoyed Sinatras theme song “I did it my way”a favorite song of one of his closest a friends ….a bachelor who had different women all the time for many years

    It seems my husband has always been taken by some fantasy of some celebrity

    This is how many of us were led in adolescence but the Word can mature those who are willing

    This reminds me of those who like the IDEA of being a Christian but do not want to learn about what Christ truly asks of us interms of our walk

    My husband has not secured his identity in Christ and so he flees anything that would secure his heart and life to being content and fulfilled in Christ

    No matter who or what is brought forth to testify of the great benefits of living life in Christ he has determined to do the opposite

    I should have heeded what both his parents attitudes were when his mom said “we don’t think anyone has a right to tell anyone what to think about God”

    At that time my husband was intentional about learning and growing in the faith

    His parental roots along with his friends and co workers made him afraid to continue in his walk

    Their mocking and teasing about his wife’s faith caused him to be afraid he would be laughed at too

    I wish I had realized how to evaluate the depth of his commitment but the ministry I was involved with assured us that if two people loved the Lord they would have a great marriage

    This is true but there needs to be a lengthy testimony of each one having proved to be loyal to the Lord

    Perhaps a testimony that involves sacrifices that come with choosing Christ in he face of various kinds of challenges to their faith

    In Old Testament times fathers trained up their sons to be men of character and they protected their daughters from being prey to men of low character

    Both young men and young women have been violated generations upon generations for lack of knowledge from the Word of God and lacking fathers who also have exercised themselves to the Words ways

    I commend this site because as God said “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”

    Lacking the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of His Word our world is preparing to go after “what seemeth right ” rather than what God s truth and that way lies death and destruction

    May the Lord bless the efforts you make to bring truth to men and women rather than psychology which is destructive in many ways because it asserts “techniques ” without truth

    Lust has no loyalty
    Love does not manipulate
    Relationship that is grounded upon The while counsel of Gods word will flourish

    All scripture IS God breathed
    Profitable for doctrine
    Re proof
    And correction
    Which IS instruction in righteousness
    2 Tim 3:16

    • Mamamia, thank you for taking the time to share your story. I cannot imagine having to go through what you’ve gone through. I commend your perseverance and commitment to your children and your willingness to forgive your husband and try to make your marriage work. Nothing can change the past, but God’s love and peace can certainly help us deal with the pain. As terrible as your husband’s actions have been, it’s a good reminder to us all of the dangers of the path he started down. As well, it’s good for us all to remember, that all throughout history, God has forgiven even the greatest of sinners, and often used those very people to be some of his greatest servants. I will be praying this week for you, your husband and your children. May God bless and comfort you.

      • Mamamia

        Thank you so much for your encouraging words and prayers

        It means a lot to know that perhaps the things we have to overcome by patience and obedience to the Word of God may serve to warn others

        This is what many of the records throughout scripture were intended by our Lord to warn and prepare the willing of heart to take heed to

        But many are being destroyed for lack of knowledge as our Lord has said

        We live in an age like that of Loadicia where it’s everyone’s opinion that hS take root

        As you have said our God is patient and long suffering …able to save to the uttermost and long suffering not willing that any should perish

        Rejoice Marriage Ministry has been one of the supportive arms of the body of Christ to encourage those in the storms from infidelity

        In reading some of the accounts of those who have been sorrowing from their situations I think that everyone might read those early on to become more fully clear about the damage the slippery slide of the way satan appeals to the flesh to lure and compromise even the most committed of us

        The spirit quickeneth the flesh profiteth nothing Jesus said “my words ARE spirit and they are life”

        Putting on the word daily would.have gone a long way for my husband to become aware of the ways his love for God and his wife and family needed to be guarded..
        I pray he will realize his need to take action in these things and to go to the Lord and then ….at some point after that surrender …to return to his home and marriage

        Men are designed for specific jurisdictions which our wicked day has twisted and redefined

        May the men of this age who love the Lord stay vigilant to the calling to invest in study and sound doctrine at a time when even many churches are abandoning truth and doctrine to run after sensational false gods in sheep clothing

        Thank you for your prayers for me and our family but also for the many suffering from spiritual anemia due to neglect of personal time with the Lord in study of scripture one in one and the deceitful doctrines that have and are creeping into many churches unchallenged

        “Continue in my word and you will be my disciples indeed ”

        This is one great exhortation from our Lord and every believer CAN do so and will be enabled IF they are willing

        Christianity is not just a NICE IDEA”
        It is life everlasting in the. company of God’s only begotten Son one day at a time!

        God Bless you for your faithful effort to serve the Lord

        They serve men best who serve he Lord with singleness of heart


        • Mamamia

          My daughters and I drove up next to him at a red light and another woman was seated next to him…not the one he had children with
          When I finally got him to text me he said he has been dating her for a year!
          Also that she thinks he is divorced…if that is true it is also possible that she thinks the children he has visit him are products of his marriage

          What will happen when he “has a conversation with her”…read Hegelian dialectic to persuade her…aka manipulate her to accept that he is a “great guy” and he’s really not the “bad guy”

          He told me he hates the woman. He had a 14 year adultery with (won’t use the word “affair” that’s too soft a term)

          So he’s a married man who has trashed the hearts of his wife and children
          Used another woman and two children he “gaVe” her because she wanted to be a “single mom by choice”

          And he has drawn another woman into his lies by posing as divorced single man

          I pray none of these people including those children ose their minds and do something crazy

          Prayers for their deliverance and salvation

          The world is full of people open to demonic suggestions…willing to act since God has no place in their thoughts.Romans 1

          I am thankful I have the Good Shepherd!

          • George Maitland


            Your husband is going through a midlife crisis. I know because my wife is going through the same problem and creating the same hardships for her family. A midlife crisis will make a person abandon everything they once cared for and valued. A midlife crisis can not only make a person abandon their family, it can make them reject their religious beliefs – however closely held they may have been.

            There are 6 known stages of the midlife crisis. It sounds like your husband is stuck at stage 3: Replay. I suggest to look into this and find out why so many people in midlife crisis find trap themselves in this stage – especially men.

            I suggest these websites to learn better about what your husband is going through. These websites I am listing for you are Christian…

            The Heart’s Blessing:
            The Hero’s Spouse:
            Signs of Depression in MLC

            I also suggest any discussion forums like Divorce Busting. You may not find the tools to change your husband – but you will understand him a lot better.

  • Lisa Johnson

    Lisa is my name I was in a deep shock when my husband left me and the kids it was actually unbelievable hence our family life style was the kind of family our neighbour envied because our life-style was rooted in love as we hardly quarrel but something happened that made me believe that my husband is changing as he now keep late and talkless to us but only confide in his self so one day he came home drunk and smelling of alcohol and a large stain of lipstick on his shirt I was so embarrass and annoyed believe me just 2days after that incident I woke up around 1pm to discover my husband was not by my side so I trace him down to the stairs to hear him making romantic phone calls with his lover I was amazed to see my so called husband who we planed the future together acting so strange so we quarrelled and had a fight that night so the next morning he left us never to return, of course I still love him so I try all I could his phone wasn’t going though and he block me from all his social network I went from pillar to post trying to get him back up to no avail just until I came across some testimonies about a great doctor called Dr Olorun who many wrote some striking testimonies about so I was so touched by one who talked about how he actually brought his ex back hence I decided to give him a try so I contacted him via :[email protected],behold after I narrated my story he gave me words of encouragement and assured me of the safe return of my husband and immediately he did some consultation on my behalf and requested for my details and told me to get some items which will be use to perform the rituals/spell which I bought believe me every one out there just within 3days my husband called me and apologise to me and the family and and said he will be returning tomorrow he promise to be a better dad to the family but now he is here with me as I write this article all thanks to the great man called Dotor Olorun who God used to get the father of my kids back. you too can reach Him if facing any challenge via his email::[email protected] believe me his truly God sent

  • Lisa Johnson

    WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing
    i have ever experience and i need to
    share this great testimony… I just want
    to say thanks to Dr. Olorun for taking time
    to help me cast the spell that brings
    back my ex lover{now husband},who
    suddenly lost interest in me after six
    month of engagement,but today we are
    married with one kid and we are more
    happier than never before,i was truly
    flabbergasted and shocked when my ex
    lover kneel down begging for
    forgiveness and for me to accept him
    back.. I am really short of words and
    joyful, and i don’t know how much to
    convey my appreciation to you Dr.Olorun you are a God sent to restore broken
    relationship.he deeply enjoy helping
    people achieve their desires, find true
    love,getting their ex lovers back,stop
    abusive relationships,find
    success,attract happiness,find soul
    mates and more,contact him today. and
    let him show you the wonders and
    amazement of his Love Spell System. He
    deliver results at his best in real spell
    casting,email:[email protected]

  • Lisa Johnson

    Hello I’M out here to spreed this good
    news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband
    back.I was going crazy when my love left me and our
    daughter for another woman last month, But when i
    meet a friend that introduce me to prophet Williams
    the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I
    narrated my problem to prophet Williams about how
    my ex husband left me and also how i needed to get
    a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i
    have come to the right place were i will be getting my
    heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i
    need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2
    days,My husband called me on the phone and was
    saying sorry for living me before now and also in the
    next one week after my husband called me to be
    pleading for forgiveness,I was called for an interview
    in my desired company were i needed to work as the
    manager..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i
    have to tell this to the entire world to contact prophet
    Williams at the following email address and get all
    your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to
    solve..Contact him direct on:
    [email protected] and get your problems
    solve as mine….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:
    ( [email protected])

  • Lisa Johnson

    WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing
    i have ever experience and i need to
    share this great testimony… I just want
    to say thanks to Dr. Olorun for taking time
    to help me cast the spell that brings
    back my ex lover{now husband},who
    suddenly lost interest in me after six
    month of engagement,but today we are
    married with one kid and we are more
    happier than never before,i was truly
    flabbergasted and shocked when my ex
    lover kneel down begging for
    forgiveness and for me to accept him
    back.. I am really short of words and
    joyful, and i don’t know how much to
    convey my appreciation to you Dr.Olorun you are a God sent to restore broken
    relationship.he deeply enjoy helping
    people achieve their desires, find true
    love,getting their ex lovers back,stop
    abusive relationships,find
    success,attract happiness,find soul
    mates and more,contact him today. and
    let him show you the wonders and
    amazement of his Love Spell System. He
    deliver results at his best in real spell
    casting,email:[email protected]

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