In many ways, Superman is the ideal comic book superhero. Beyond his amazing powers—flying, laser eyes, and ice breath—he is courageous, compassionate, and selfless. He’s so strong that he’s essentially invincible. But he does have one weakness: kryptonite. Kryptonite is a green, crystal-like material that comes from Superman’s home planet of Krypton. But rather than being a reminder of home, it emits a harmful radiation that can gradually weaken or even kill him. It’s just best if Superman avoids the stuff.
Husbands can be like Superman. On the one hand, each of us has certain skills and abilities, things we should be proud of. But on the other hand, we are also drawn to certain traits that undermine our marriages. Like kryptonite, the more comfortable we get with these traits, the more they hinder our ability to be good husbands. Here are 5 bad husband traits it would be best for us to avoid.
For many men, our desire to succeed at work can be a great motivator. It feels good to see the results of our best efforts in a project, to be recognized by others for a job well done, and to reap the rewards of promotions and raises as they come along. But ambition in our work can turn to kryptonite when we allow it to drive us, consuming our free time and taking us figuratively and literally from our families. To avoid this bad husband trait, we need to put the same effort (or more) into loving our wives as we put into our work.
Complacency is a subtle and silent enemy of marriage. Being complacent is the opposite of being driven. Instead of investing heavily in our marriages and trying to love our wives better each and every day, we get comfortable with the way things are and stop doing those things that make our marriages work. This could mean we decide not to plan time alone together, we neglect every kind of intimacy, or we forget to check in with her over the course of each day. We can work on this bad husband trait with a regular checkup on how we’re doing as husbands and by choosing to do simple things out of love for our wives each day.Complacency is a subtle and silent enemy of marriage.
Whether it’s marketing or incessant notifications, we live in a world filled with distractions. When we’re always staring at our phones, reading another article about our favorite sports teams, or staying up playing video games instead of going to bed with our wives, we’re letting these distractions get the best of us. This is one of the more subtle bad husband traits because we aren’t paying attention to the most important things when we’re distracted. We can battle distraction by ensuring we make consistent, quality time for our wives where devices and favorite sports teams are not invited.
4. Wandering Eyes
While most of us could never imagine cheating on our wives, it happens far too often. Marital infidelity starts with simple compromises we should have avoided in the first place. When we start looking elsewhere for the intimacy we’re meant to get from our wives, or we compare our wives to another woman, we are feeding a bad husband trait that could weaken or destroy our marriages. We need to be open, honest, and vigilant whenever that road starts to look attractive, and make a conscious choice to be with the woman we love.
A proud man often puts himself onto a pedestal to compensate for his low self-esteem. It can make him think less of the people around him. A proud husband won’t face his weaknesses or admit his faults. When we are driven by pride, we can resist the way marriage asks us to become better men. We can also push our wives away. The antidote to pride is humility. We often misunderstand humility to mean putting ourselves down. But as we’ve all heard, true humility isn’t thinking less of ourselves—it’s all about thinking of ourselves less.
Sound off: what are some other bad husband traits?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some character traits we should avoid?”