love your wife

4 Ways to Love Your Wife If You’re Verbally Challenged

Specifically speaking, women generally talk and require more communication than we do as men.  Psychologists say, on average, women speak about 20,000 words a day vs. 7,000 words for men. Women talk almost three times as much as men do. And there lies the problem. [Tweet This] So what do you do to love your wife even when she outtalks you?

You simply have to play to your strength as a man.  Since women speak three times more than we do, the answer isn’t to try and catch up with them by speaking more; the answer is to listen more than they do. Whenever your wife desires to engage you in a conversation, and you really don’t feel like talking, but you know you probably should just start by asking her four strategic questions:

1. “What are you most thankful for today?”

By asking your wife this question, you’re getting her to focus on what’s right in her life, not just what’s wrong with it.  You’re helping her to find something she can feel good about and also something you can celebrate with her about.  When she tells you what she’s thankful for, follow up with, “Why are you so thankful for that?”

2. “What do you think about _____ (anything interesting that’s happening)?”

This question shows your wife that you value her wisdom and opinions.  You could also get her thoughts or solicit her input on a tough decision you’re facing concerning your job, the kids, a friend, or anything else.

3. “What did you struggle with most today?”

This is a great question to ask, because you give your wife a chance to share what’s going on in her heart and thoughts, and you’re giving her a chance to vent her frustrations, fears, and worries.  If you are a man who prays, it will also reveal what you need to pray for.

4. “Is there anything we need to talk about that you’re a little afraid to ask?”

Yes I admit, this is a tough question to ask and receive an answer to. But here’s why you have to ask that question: because it allows you to address marital and family problems early before they get out of control.  So get her to “express” it before she decides to “suppress” it.

If you strategically ask these four questions in the right way, at the right time, and with the right follow-up questions, this could easily be a 45 to 60-minute meaningful conversation with your wife in which she feels valued, loved, and listened to. The best part is you barely said a word.

Sound Off

What questions do you ask your wife that are important?

Dr. Joe Martin

Dr. Joe Martin is a certified Man Builder, creator and founder of RealMenConnect.com, and an award-winning educator. He’s also a husband and father of a blended family of two.

  • Steven Fajardo

    Some questions that I ask my wife are, “what are you excited about for the coming week or weeks?” Another question I ask a lot actually is “Are you Happy?” if she says no or stutters I ask why and continue to ask more probing questions and figure out what needs to be changed our improved (rarely is she unhappy, though, and the days she is upset about something we talk about it and work it out). A huge question I like asking is “What I can do for you, to feel more loved, less stressed, happier, more fulfilled as a person?” and just on that question alone, we may talk about it for 15-30 mins.

Subscribe to the Play of the Day for daily advice, videos and updates on how to be better dad.

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “Is there anything we need to talk about that you are a little afraid to ask?”

lists to love by
Boundaries
Char Griller