Over the years, I’ve come to realize my wife has an invisible emotional bucket. I’m guessing your wife does too. And every day that bucket needs to be filled. Through my daily words and actions, I’m either making deposits or withdrawals from this bucket, and my wife is being directly affected.
As a husband, learning how to appreciate your wife in both big and small ways is crucial to your success. Here are 5 ways I’ve learned to strive toward daily filling my wife’s emotional bucket.
1. Thank her for something she did.
Most women do a thousand little things every day for their families. Appreciate them. From cooking, to cleaning, to laundry, to grocery shopping and taxi driving for the family—our wives stay busy. And most often, they do it without recognition. Find at least one of those things every day to say thank you for.
2. Dig deeper into something she said.
Women are wired emotionally. So whatever they say often has deeper meaning and significance than their words might express on the surface alone. Digging deeper might look like saying, “Tell me more,” or “What do you think is the best way to address that?” Women love to feel heard and understood, especially by their husbands, and digging deeper has a way of drawing those feelings out.
3. Ask about her day.
Coming home at the end of your work day and intentionally making yourself available to listen to your wife for just five or 10 minutes can be amazing therapy. Because no matter how busy you’ve been, she’s probably been just as busy, but in different ways. And statistically, woman have a lot more they need to say in a given day than men. Asking about her day and taking the time to listen not only helps her destress, but it also shows your genuine love and concern.
4. Notice something small but important.
My wife recently decorated our house for an upcoming holiday, which I honestly couldn’t care less about. But when I walked through the front door and mentioned how nice things looked, you could see her face light up over the fact that I took the time to notice and comment. Why? Because even though it wasn’t important to me, I knew it was important to her. As a result, brownie points were scored.
5. Write her a note of encouragement.
A few months ago, I started making breakfast for both of us every morning. I realized it made for an easy excuse to add a daily sticky note to her plate with loving encouragement and affirmation. To date, she’s kept every single sticky note I’ve written and looks forward to adding a new one to her stack each morning. Every day, there are easy opportunities to add drops into my wife’s emotional bucket if I’m looking for them. And when I do, I almost always find it’s best for both of us.
Sound off: Do you know how to appreciate your wife? What are some things you do?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one thing you need from me this week?”