10 Things You Must Protect Your Daughter From

A father’s urge to protect his daughter is cross-cultural. Truth be told, no matter what our parenting style, our daughters look to us for security. It’s not an old-fashioned sentiment. Our girls are hard-wired to look to us fathers as protectors.

This discussion is just a sampling of the dangers. But don’t be discouraged, because the key to this challenge is awareness and family communication. Be a strong, loving presence in your daughter’s life, stay well connected and make sure beyond a doubt that she knows how much you love her.

Family communication patterns have a powerful effect on your daughter’s sense of confidence. Raising teens is not easy and raising teenage daughters can make a strong man quake. It helps to know what we’re dealing with.

Here are 10 things you must protect your daughter from:

1. Groundlessness:

   Simply put, it’s dangerous to not know who you are. It’s difficult to use our best judgment without being grounded. Let there be no doubt that your daughter knows both who she is and whose she is.

2. Herself:

   Certainly related to #1—we can be our own worst enemy when we don’t have a moral filter. It’s a mistake to assume kids will make the right decisions without coaching. That’s what families are for. That’s why you are her dad.

3. Ignorance:

   "To be forewarned," the saying goes, "is to be forearmed." Never assume they know anything! Teens will not have the information you want them to have unless you give it to them. No one else has the job of parent other than you and her mother.

4. Lies:

   Ignorance is one thing—willful deceit is something more. Your daughter will be lied to, that’s a fact. But deception works more effectively on teens who:

   - Are not loved by their fathers

   - Are ignorant

   - Lack the courage of their convictions

   - Are not confident

   - Have a poorly developed sense of self

   - Do not have a strong relationship of trust with their parents

5. Predators:

   A predator preys, by definition, on the vulnerability of its victims. Again, girls look for strong men in their lives. If their father is unavailable or unwilling, then they will look elsewhere. The predators are waiting.

6. Users:

   Yes, we should be teaching our children generosity, charity and grace; but it’s critical they learn how to sniff out the disingenuous “user” from the legitimate need. Teach your daughter to always ask for a second opinion.

7. Isolation:

   This is a dangerous world. No debate. Children—and this includes teens—need to understand and practice the “buddy principle.” You are not allowed to be alone in unfamiliar places, period. A cell-phone is not enough.

8. Alcohol and/or drugs:

   You can’t hold your daughter’s hand until the day she leaves home and is on her own. But you can drill the survival skills. Date rape and other drugs can be slipped into open containers (yes, it can happen to your child), so never accept an open drink.

9. Unacceptable risk:

   Driving distracted is a huge danger for teens. Establish firm rules and enforce them without exception. Seat belts, cell-phone use, number of friends in the car, driving after curfew, music volume… These all need to be addressed and agreed on. Car use is a privilege not a right. The car can (and often should be) taken away!  Try our Teen Driving Contract to help explain the risks and responsibilities.

10. “The World”:

    Life outside the family home is risky, period. But understand this:  Home is not a place to hide, it’s the place where children are given the right tools, trained, and equipped to live in the world. Education is an ongoing process. It’s our responsibility as dads to make sure our daughters have everything they need to succeed.

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