nothing in common

When You and Your Wife Have Nothing in Common

On my commute home, I will sometimes listen to talk radio. I recently came across a show where a husband was calling in to discuss problems he was having in his marriage. He and his wife had been married for over ten years and he was clearly frustrated. His main issue was that he and his wife had nothing in common. The only possible thing was that they liked a TV show or two; however, they would rarely talk about them. They’d watch in silence.

As he continued to share his story, it became obvious that he and his wife had grown apart. The marriage was devoid of intimacy and sexless. What had started as differing interests had sprouted like a weed into dissatisfaction. Eventually that grew into disconnection and bitterness. This husband had even reached a place where he thought the remedy was leaving his wife to find a woman with whom he had more in common. Fortunately, it didn’t need to get to that point. If you are feeling like you and your wife have nothing in common, here are some encouraging thoughts to help your marriage.

It’s Okay

You do not have to have the same interests to have a good and thriving marriage. [Tweet ThisMarriage is about selflessly loving, supporting, and caring for one another. Putting the other person’s interests before your own. When each partner does that well the health of the marriage follows. You don’t need to love the things they love, but you do need to love them.

Appreciate Your Differences

Don’t love them in spite of your differences. Love them because of them. There are great advantages and strengths that come with being different. You are with someone who looks at the world from a different angle. Look at the differences as assets because it will help both of you have more of a 360-degree perspective.

Respect Their Interests

You don’t necessarily have to do the same things, but respect what they like and encourage them to do it. When they are doing something they like, it lets them relieve stress and brings enjoyment. Be willing to talk about it. If you ask them to tell you about it, that’s even better. Focus on what it does to them and the joy it brings.

Explore New Things

There are a million possibilities. Try new experiences and hobbies together. Make sure it is something that neither of you has done before. There will be plenty to talk about and you might just find something that both of you enjoy doing together. Embrace it as an adventure or laugh together about it being a challenge.

Sound Off

What have you done to build your relationship with your wife lately?

BJ Foster

BJ Foster is the Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two.

  • CJ

    Sometimes during our trials in life, it becomes easy to disconnect. When I was laid off and going through my second bout of unemployment for the second time in six years and my wife, who was forced to be the breadwinner – even though we had been praying together and individually for years for me to be the provider and her to stay at home with our kids – she became disappointeded in me and disconnected.

    I in turn turned my anger to God and became for frustrated and angry at Him for allowing this to happen. Then my wife spent the next 4 years completely disengaging from me to the point of hating me and having an emotional affair with a man at our church that I exposed last summer.

    We have both been individually been broken by God over the past couple years and while I still love and cherish my wife and we are in counseling, she is still trying to find a way to fall in love with me again.

    Please pray for reconciliation and redemption because I do not want a divorce even though she has mentioned it over the past few months. I want God to turn beauty from ashes of our 21-plus year marriage!!!

    • klepp0906

      And therein lies your issue. You blame an imaginary omnipotent being for your issues. Wth?

      • Doug Jones

        no, his problem is he blamed God. the same God you know, not some imaginary omnipotent being.

        • jonoghue

          god = imaginary omnipotent being

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Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What is one thing that you would like to do together?”

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