finding favor

10 Ways to Score Big Points With Your Wife

It was Mother’s Day and I wanted to do something special for my wife. I planned to get up early and make her breakfast in bed with recipes from her favorite cookbook—a labor of love because I don’t much enjoy cooking or getting up early. The night before, I went shopping and managed to get all the groceries into the house without her knowing. Everything was going according to plan. But I didn’t anticipate how quiet our house would be at 6 a.m. or how noise from the kitchen would reverberate. I had barely begun when my 4-year-old son woke everyone up by yelling, “Who’s making all that noise in the kitchen?!” My wife came stumbling out, smiled, and told me to come back to bed. She saw my disappointment. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You still get the points.”

Most of the time, it’s the thoughtfulness more than the execution that wins a wife’s heart. It’s the small and subtle nuances that communicate how much she is loved. If you are working at finding favor with your wife, try these 10 ways.

1. Finish that project.

Every household has things that get put off to another day. Over time, this can cause friction in a marriage. Dedicate a day to clean up all those loose ends and you’ll be her hero.

2. Take the kids for a “Daddy Day.”

Give her some rest. Take the children on an early Saturday morning adventure. It’ll be great fun for you and a tremendous load off your wife’s shoulders (even if only for a few hours).

3. Clean the house.

Take it upon yourself to straighten up around the house. Do this without having to be asked. Perhaps even ask her what you could clean around the house that would help her the most.

4. Plan a family vacation.

Come to her with a list of ideas to do on a vacation. Think through how they facilitate good times together and meet the desires of each family member. She’ll appreciate the initiative.

5. Make dinner for the family.

If your wife normally prepares dinner, tell her to sit down and relax one or two nights a week while you take over. Let your wife see you in the kitchen preparing a meal—even if it’s as simple as boiling some pasta. Remember, for our wives, it’s not the execution that matters. It’s the effort. But good execution helps.

6. Say thank you.

Your sincere gratitude will fill a heart in need of acknowledgment.

Marriages tend to go on cruise control. Think of the many things your spouse does that give your family a better life. A sincere “thank you” will fill a heart in need of acknowledgment.

7. Celebrate a random anniversary.

Think of something in the past that is special to your marriage. The first time you met, the day of your first kiss, or when you got engaged—it could be anything. Then surprise your spouse by celebrating that day.

8. Make a gift.

Using your time and energy to create something special, even if small, is a special way to show your wife how important she is to you. Major talent not required. She will cherish it.

9. Plan something fun for the whole family.

Have a game or movie night. Go on a photo scavenger hunt or go miniature golfing or bowling. Taking the planning off her shoulders will be a big win.

10. Remember what your mama taught you.

In the name of comfort and relaxation, men can forget to use manners and common courtesy—for example, dishes left behind or clothes thrown on the floor. There are many ways a man can be annoying to those who live with him. Make an effort to remember your mom’s voice ringing in your head and clean up your act. If the world deserves the best of who you are, certainly your wife deserves even more.

Give her some insight: Share this iMOM article with your wife: 5 Things Husbands Wish Wives Knew.

Sound off: What have you done that your wife really loves?

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What’s one fun thing we can do together this weekend?”