Every few years it happens. I find myself in a rut that I just can’t seem to get out of. As a writer, words won’t come. As a leader, nothing seems to be working. As a husband and father, I feel inadequate. Nothing seems to be moving forward like I want it to and roadblocks to my goals seem to jump up around every turn. Can you relate?
It’s in those moments when I’m faced with the choice of how to deal with the feelings of being stuck. Here are 3 reasons you’re feeling stuck in life.
1. You’re waiting for something outside of you to change you.
When feeling stuck in life, I find it easier to blame my problems on my circumstances or on other people than to take personal responsibility. As a leader, it’s easy to say, “They just won’t…” but I’m learning to rephrase it to “I haven’t led them to…” While there are so many things outside my control, what isn’t is my response and redirection. As someone once wisely said, life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it. You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust the sails. When you’re feeling stuck, always remember that nothing and no one ultimately chooses your outcome other than you.
2. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
If you’re not willing to make changes, you’re not going to see anything change.Albert Einstein is credited with this definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” We all have negative cycles that we engage in that cause us to get stuck in life. It might be an unhelpful attitude that we allow to hang around, a response toward our spouse that we revert to, even though we know the hurt it causes, or a bad habit we’re unwilling to break despite the costs. If you’re not willing to make changes, you’re not going to see anything change.
3. You’re choosing the pain of regret over the pain of discipline.
I read this quote from Craig Groeschel every Monday morning to start my work week: “Small disciplines done consistently lead to big results over time. It’s the small things that no one sees that lead to the big results that everyone wants. Discipline is the bridge between who you are and who you want to become. You can choose the pain of discipline or choose the pain of regret.” You can probably already identify some areas where a good dose of discipline would change how you’re currently feeling stuck. When I’m facing resistance and feeling stuck, discipline helps me keep a big picture perspective to choose my pain wisely.
Earn some points: Are you married? Share this iMOM article with your wife: 5 Ways to Find Peace When the Stress Just Keeps Coming.
Sound off: To what specific area of your life do you need to apply these principles?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one thing about me that you would like to see change?”