I stared at the TV screen and watched with my stomach in my throat. Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa suffered the third nasty concussion of his young career. I had flashbacks to 2011, when I suffered three concussions in one season while playing for the Cleveland Browns. I posted my thoughts on X, hoping to shed some light from my perspective. I admitted to fans that there were days I thought I should walk away, but I loved football. The sport can be dangerous, but I analyzed and understood the risk.
Now, as a parent, I see that my kids are in potential danger all the time. It presents me with a choice. I can bubble wrap them and keep them in their bedrooms to prevent all harm or help them manage life and endure the results. The more I watch them grow, the more I realize how helpful navigating danger can be in their maturation process. Even though my desire is to keep them safe, I can’t lock them away from the world. Neither can you, so start introducing it slowly. Here are 4 dangerous things you should let your kids do.
1. Time Without Supervision
In his book The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt stresses the importance of play-based childhoods. He writes that playing while unsupervised builds physical, psychological, and social competence, which “gives kids confidence that they can face new situations, which is an inoculation against anxiety.” Kids with a parent constantly hovering over them become risk averse. Kids who never experience risk don’t grow. Giving kids pockets of time to explore, learn, and interact with others without a parent’s eyes always on them is beneficial. Is it dangerous? Sure. They could get hurt. But, that’s part of the risk assessment everyone must learn. Kids who learn it at an early age have an advantage.
2. Play Sports
Speaking of risk, sports are full of risk. My football career included plenty of risk. I’m not telling you to sign up your 7-year-old for tackle football, but kids who play sports thrive. They have higher self-esteem and lower rates of obesity and depression. A 2020 study found that youth athletics even leads to better academic performance. Could they get injured? Sure. Is the risk worth it? Yes. So sometimes, playing sports is one of the dangerous things you should let your kids do.
3. Start Dating
There are so many dangers with teens dating. There’s heartbreak, verbal and physical abuse, emotional and physical intimacy before they or their relationships are mature enough to handle it. But the great thing about dating as a teen is your parents can be there to help you navigate it. I think most parents get nervous at the idea of their sons or daughters going on dates, but dipping their toes in romantic relationships now, under your watch, is the safest way to learn how to love and be loved. I have taught my kids how to treat others and how to expect to be treated. Now I get to watch those lessons be put into action, as scary as it may be.
4. Manage Money
Unless you put your kids in charge of your credit cards, 401K, and stock portfolio, your home is probably safe. But managing money is risky at any age, especially for kids who are usually led by impulses. Adults haven’t even mastered this. A Clever Real Estate survey found that 82 percent of home buyers regretted their purchase, usually because they overspent. We can model good money management by living within our means and teaching our kids to manage money from an early age. It’s better for them to fail while trying to keep a few bucks in order than see them fail later in life when there are spouses and kids to support.
Sound off: Which of these dangerous things you should let your kids do causes you the most stress as a dad?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are the most dangerous things you’ve ever done?”