I remember my wedding day well. The tuxedo, nervous jitters, and anxiously waiting at the altar for my bride to walk down the aisle. It was a special moment to share before God, our family, and friends. My favorite part of that ceremony 14 years ago was a little shift we made away from the traditional “I do.”
There is nothing wrong with saying “I do.” It is the traditional way brides and grooms make their vows. But my wife and I said “I will” instead. Why? The minister performing our ceremony, who is a family friend, told us about the present power and future commitment in saying “I will.” I liked his explanation, so we chose to say “I will” as a promise to each other. As the ceremony ended, I kissed my new wife, and we went off to celebrate at the reception. My marriage started with the promise of “I will,” and I haven’t stopped making her promises since. No matter what you said at the altar, you must stay true to your word. Here are 4 promises to make to your wife.
1. “I will” always love you.
It’s easy to love someone in the beginning of a relationship or on your honeymoon when those butterflies are still dancing in your gut. But love is more than just a feeling. It’s a choice. We must choose to love our wives no matter how we feel. I want my wife to know I love her today and commit to love her tomorrow. She needs to know I will fulfill my promise to always love her, even on days when it’s hard or those butterflies in my gut aren’t fluttering as fiercely.
We must choose to love our wives no matter how we feel.2. “I will” be there for you.
We live for the highs of marriage, but we still must deal with the lows. Some days, you’re the low partner. Other days, she is. Saying “I will” be there for you, even on her lowest day, is one of the most loyal promises to your wife. This isn’t always easy. There have been plenty of days when I felt incapable of helping my wife through anxiety, disappointment, or other pitfalls. But I learned to ask for guidance and read about subjects I didn’t understand, all in an effort to prove to my wife that I meant it when I promised to always be there.
3. “I will” be your biggest cheerleader.
Ever notice how cheerleaders shout after fourth quarter touchdowns when their team is losing and the game is out of reach? That’s because incremental wins are still worth celebrating. Likewise, I am dedicated to praising any progress my wife makes toward a goal. This is one of the promises to your wife that you can’t skip over. It doesn’t matter what the goal is. It could be learning a new skill, taking on a PTA role, or trying a hobby. Cheer her on! I have made the mistake of minimizing some of my wife’s achievements only to realize how harmful it was to her self-esteem. Build up your wife by supporting her in every arena.
4. “I will” help you achieve your dreams.
Just as important as cheering for your wife, promise to participate, too. Husbands, chase your wife’s dreams just as fervently as she does. She’ll see and appreciate your commitment each time you prioritize her passions. Does she want to learn to paint, or see the world, or master a new language? Buy the supplies, chart a travel course together, and willingly stumble through broken German with each other over dinner. Investing in what matters to her is a great way to keep your promises to your wife.
Sound off: What are some ways your desires have been getting in the way of keeping your promises to your wife?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have you ever broken a promise? What made it hard to keep?”