I remember when the first season of The Bachelor debuted. Women in sparkling gowns tried to win over a guy they just met during visits to exotic locations. My wife got into it. I couldn’t stomach it. It was all so cheesy. I have many gripes with dating shows, but my biggest complaint is how they paint unrealistic pictures of how relationships should look.
If you take your wife on weekly helicopter rides at sunset or skydives over Fiji, good for you. But reality TV doesn’t match reality for most people, and it doesn’t have to. Instead of trying to mimic Hollywood’s idea of a fruitful relationship, let’s focus on providing our wives with the kind of rewards of marriage the TV shows rarely mention. Here are 5 things your wife should get from you that reality TV can’t deliver.
There is something special about knowing you’re not facing challenges alone. A wife needs to know her husband will be there for her when the world seems to be falling apart. That dependability is the bedrock on which she builds long-lasting trust. It is a reward for your wife to know you will do what you say you’ll do, be where you pledge to be, and handle what you promise to handle for her. Be there for your wife in every area of life.There is security and stability in marriage when you prioritize, support, and cherish your spouse.
No acting is required in marriage. You can be yourself with your wife and she can be herself with you. We become comfortable with our spouses because we offer things to each other that nobody else can. In a marriage partnership, husbands receive the companionship and respect they crave. Wives receive the protection and attention they desire, too. Along with love, there is security and stability in marriage when you prioritize, support, and cherish your spouse. All these factors lead to tremendous comfort.
3. Shared Responsibilities
Life is hard. Our “must-dos,” like paying bills, preparing meals, and caring for kids, can weigh us down. Doing it solo can become burdensome. Sharing the responsibility load is one of the rewards of marriage that makes life more manageable. We help our wives when we go out of our way to make sure we are shouldering some of the weight. Do the dishes. Fold the clothes. Vacuum the bedrooms. She’ll feel seen and appreciated as you fulfill your duty to care for her.
4. Lifelong Friendship
According to a 2013 Gallup poll, 86 percent of millennials hoped to be married one day. That’s because deep down, there is an innate human desire to connect with and be loved by someone. Marriage is the way to find a lifelong, intimate friendship that is not just surface level. It’s a deep bond your wife will only find in you. Your wife should feel safe sharing her hopes, dreams, and regrets with you and expect zero judgment in return. This is how couples strengthen their friendship through the years.
5. Sexual Satisfaction
It’s a (popular) lie that married people have less sex overall and less satisfying sex than singles. Married people are much happier with sex than singles are, according to polling data. That’s because sex is not simply a physical act. It’s an emotional and spiritual connection between two committed people. Commitment is a key ingredient for intimacy. Husbands, committing to your wife means you’re dedicating yourself to satisfying her in all areas, including sex.
Sound off: What are some other rewards of marriage your wife should be receiving?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What is one thing you wish I would do more?”