Chris Ballard: 4 Ways to Build Resilient Kids

We know a little bit about things not going according to plan in the Ballard home. As a high school senior, my son Cole broke the pinky finger on his throwing hand. Not ideal for a quarterback. My daughter Kierstyn saw her gymnastics career cut short by ankle and knee injuries. I had many conversations with both about overcoming challenges and found myself coming back to the same line in every talk: “Keep moving forward.” Even though it’s hard to see your kids struggle, I believe this is one of the most powerful sentences a dad can say to his kids.

I say the same thing to the guys who want to make our Indianapolis Colts roster. Being fast, strong, and eager are all good qualities, but the players who stick in our league have all learned to be resilient. Not everything is going to go your way all the time. It’s true for NFL hopefuls and our kids alike. Dads must teach their children how to be resilient, because plans don’t always work out. They must know how to bounce back and adapt. Here are 4 ways to build resilient kids.

1. Embrace failure.

I think parents are becoming a little too afraid of failure. We, out of love, try to set our kids up for constant success, but that’s not how to build resilience in children. There is tremendous value in failure. Failure can be good if it’s handled the right way. It forces young people to deal with the situation in front of them, not the situation they want to face. Resiliency only grows in adverse conditions, so stop trying to prevent failure. Instead, encourage your kids through the inevitable difficulties that come their way.

2. Resist shortcuts.

I respect players like Zaire Franklin immensely. We drafted him in 2018 after his four years at Syracuse. He was a great individual talent, but his teams failed to make a bowl game during his college career. He could have transferred to a better program but chose to stick it out. It’s easy to think “the grass will be greener” after a shortcut, but that’s not always the case. When we commit to finishing what we’ve started, the process breeds resiliency. I want that for my kids. I want them to know that being fully committed will serve them better than any short-term gain from a shortcut.

3. Keep working.

Once you get to the NFL, you have to compete. There is no path to success without working hard. You must focus, and even when you do, you may face injuries, losing streaks, and bad bounces. If you stop putting in the work, you won’t last long. This is also true of life. Your kids don’t get the luxury of coasting. At school, in their part-time jobs, at youth sports—whatever it is, they must work hard. When they stop working, they’ll stop shining. Cole and Kierstyn are great examples of this. He persevered through the finger injury and earned a scholarship at the University of Kansas, and she earned a walk-on spot as a pole vaulter at Baylor. Hard work is resiliency, and it opens doors for kids.

4. Embrace the long game.

Life is like the stock market. There are ups and downs. When we focus too much on the downs, we forget that investing is a long game. Growth happens in life’s “downs.” It doesn’t feel good in the moment. But when you get to the other side, it feels unbelievable. That’s the message for our kids. Believe that what you’re enduring ends with something good. Keep running your race to the best of your ability, knowing that in the end, it will all pay off. Emphasizing the big picture is how to build resilience in children.

Sound off: What events in your life build resiliency in you?

For a deeper discussion about this subject, check out this All Pro Dad podcast episode.