Slumped in the shadows, Marlin let out a despairing groan. Trying to console him, Dory said, “There, there. It’s alright. It’ll be OK.” Marlin replied, “No, no, it won’t… I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.” Dory looked back at him, confused. “That’s a funny thing to promise. You can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not a lot of fun for little (Nemo).”
We dads can appreciate both sides of this conversation. Holding our newborn son daughter for the first time often makes us want to protect our children from all hurt and pain. At the same time, many of the most important life experiences require our kids to go through hard things. Here are 5 moments we can’t protect our children from.
1. The Moment they Need to Go to the Emergency Room
Some kids have a knack for trying dangerous things. At times, it ends in laughter and a new memory. Other times, we find ourselves sitting with them in the ER waiting for stitches or a cast. While we can’t protect our children from stitches and broken bones, we can help them understand how to weigh the risks and benefits of a particular adventure beforehand… hopefully saving them from injury in the future.
2. The Moment Their Heart Gets Broken
One of the hardest lessons for anyone to learn is that romance isn’t always a fairy tale. The loss of a relationship often seems devastating, whether she’s 13 or he had a ring picked out and was planning the proposal. While we can’t stop our kids from getting their hearts broken, we can be there to pick them up again by providing a place to vent and a shoulder to cry on as they navigate these hard feelings.
3. The Moment Failure Feels Overwhelming
In modern-day Major League Baseball, a .300 batting average is excellent—but it means a great batter only gets a hit at 30% of the time. This means he fails more often than he succeeds. Hitting in baseball is a great metaphor to use to help your kids understand that sometimes, they are going to strike out. While we can’t protect our children from experiencing failure, we can teach them there’s a lot they can learn from a moment of failure.
4. The Moment Someone They Care About Gets Sick or Dies
Whether it’s grandparents, neighbors, or someone much closer to us, people we care about get sick and die. For a kid, visiting sick relatives in the hospital and later attending their funeral can be one of the most difficult, confusing experiences of childhood. While there’s nothing we can do to shield our kids from suffering and death, we can be there to answer their questions, help them cope with loss, and learn to grieve well.
5. The Moment Things Change
Kids don’t like when things change. Familiar things seem a lot safer than the unknown that change often brings. Change in our kids’ lives is inevitable, whether it’s outgrowing their favorite shirt, transitioning to a higher grade, or the struggle of watching a friend move away. While we can’t freeze the world around them, we can help them grieve the loss and (eventually) see the opportunities change can bring.
Sound off: What are some other things we can’t protect our children from?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What helps you when you’re having a hard time?”