The transition from childless adult to being responsible for the life of another human being is dynamic and life-altering. Sleep becomes a luxury and sex, at times, a distant memory. Yet, to become a good father is such a beautiful honor, and the unconditional love we have for that child mandates that we make changes in ourselves. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
Some of the ways we behaved when we were children didn’t have the ramifications they do now. Now everything we do and everything we’re about affects the lives for which we are responsible. Below are 5 activities good fathers, aka All Pro Dads, should stop doing. They do not apply to all, but they are common and should be addressed.
1. Substance Abuse
So many lives are destroyed and so many families crumble because of substance abuse. Don’t let this be you. A good father will start by taking inventory of whether smoking, alcohol, prescription drugs, or other substances are altering the trajectory of his life in a downward slant. If they are, get help for the sake of your family.
2. Financial Recklessness
For some folks, the word “budget” is non-existent. But when that baby is here, you are definitely going to need one. If you are already a parent, you know this, and if you are still waiting on your child to arrive, you are going to find out soon. Children cost lots of money, in ways you haven’t even considered yet. As our friend Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else so you can live like no one else.” Abhor debt and budget wisely so you can give your kids a bright future.
3. Disrespectful Abandonment
Yes, that sounds like a pretty harsh term for being gone too much. But isn’t that what it is when we leave our families at home alone for long periods, just to satisfy personal desires? There is a fine line to this topic because it most certainly is still important to maintain a meaningful personal existence. A happy parent usually makes a good parent. A Saturday morning game of golf, some time out with friends to watch a big game, and other things like this are normal. However, when a dad makes himself scarce on a regular basis to escape from the responsibilities he faces, it is a big problem. That is no less than disrespectful abandonment.
4. Foul Speech
Our children listen to and absorb everything we say. If our statements are vile, racist, or hateful, then all of that is going to seep into our kids’ worldviews. Keep that in mind when going off on rants. The things we say around our children, even if just blowing off steam, do not get separated into different categories. They all go into our kids’ “truth bins.” That is scary to any parent, so be very careful with your words.
5. Free and Easy Living
If we continue to behave like we are childless once we become parents, something is going to go very bad in pretty short order. Priorities change and lifestyles change. But the tradeoff is so much more meaningful. The memory of playing catch with your son on a sunny, spring afternoon will be cherished forever as opposed to the “freedom” of spilling chicken wing grease onto your already dirty t-shirt while you watch ESPN. Life is harder now as a father, but it’s also so much better.
Sound off: What are some attributes of a good father?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you think it looks like to be selfless?”