The justifications for the absent dad may be plentiful but so are the consequences to his kids. This is not a message to judge or to be critical of men who find themselves separated from their family. This is an encouragement to educate and to motivate men to hear the call to battle on behalf of their children. We understand all the obstacles that are set up against you. While there may be obstacles, the consequences to the children remain. Only their dad can change the odds. Some of those consequences are increased chances of depression, behavioral issues, insecurity, bad grades, and higher dropout rates. Both boys and girls are equally susceptible. The natural order of the family is for the man to have authority (not power) to lead and when that authority is abdicated, a vacuum is created that will certainly be filled elsewhere. That’s when things can go awry. There aren’t many gang members or women in the sex industry who come from homes with a strong dad in place. This is a plea for men to find a way to lead: for men to reconcile, to compromise, to be strong, to be humble, and to give their children the love and direction they so desperately need. When we don’t, the consequences can last for generations. Here are some of the most common consequences:
Children need a dad to be the anchor that stabilizes their youth as they are pulled in every direction. The CDC says, “85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes.” That is a huge statistic and shouldn’t go unnoticed. Children need a dad to be the anchor that stabilizes their youth as they are pulled in every direction. The U.S. Census Bureau says 43% of US children live without their father. That is a tremendous amount of kids being left wide open to the troubles that beckon them.
Seventy-one percent (71%) of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes, according to the National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools. It is no guarantee that children with involved dads won’t struggle in school. However, when dad is not in the picture to lead and guide his children, the likelihood of scholastic trouble skyrockets. The reason for that is more psychological than lack of intelligence. The feeling of abandonment leaves a child unable to trust. Lack of trust leads to recklessness which can take many possible paths. Those successful in crime are some of the most intelligent people in the world. Most of them never finished high school.
Sex, Sex, Sex
This society is completely saturated in sexual innuendo that reaches all the way down to the elementary level. We all have our own opinions about sex including when and where it is appropriate. However, at the very least, I think the overwhelming majority of parents would agree they don’t want their children sexually active before they are emotionally mature. The Department of Health and Human Services reports that 71% of pregnant teens have no dad present in their life. Most teenage girls that are sexually active are looking for something far deeper than what their hormones are screaming. They will find no shortage of young men eager to give them the illusion they can find it in them.
The statistics are questionable on this subject. However, there is ample documentation and psychological study that show the factor of an absent dad playing a large role in substance abuse. Again, plenty of kids with involved dads are out there smoking, drinking, and using a variety of drugs. The increased odds due to an absent dad stem mostly from the feeling of abandonment. It is a wrecking ball. When dad leaves and abdicates his role, abandonment issues spread throughout the family like a deadly plague. The use of drugs is an attempt to escape. We have a deep responsibility to provide them a place to run to and take sanctuary.
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask them to tell you 3 different ways they are struggling.