My daughter was 5 when I took her to our first and only daddy-daughter dance. As we left, we decided to take a walk along the river since it was such a beautiful night. We reached the end of the path, and it was lit with lights that were changing colors that almost made it look like like we were on a dance floor. With no one else around, I asked her to dance. I played a song on my phone and put it in my front pocket as we swayed, twirled, and dipped.
Several years after that night, we were driving near the riverwalk. That’s when my daughter said, “Dad! That’s where we danced!” She remembered. That moment meant a lot to her. It meant a lot to me too. Sometimes the most significant moments pass by without our knowledge. The best thing we can do is try to create as many moments as possible with our daughters. Maybe one or two will become core memories. Want some ideas to try? Here are 5 core memories to create with your daughter.
1. Sharing a Special Food
My dad used to make breakfast every Saturday morning. The scents of freshly cooked bacon, sausage, eggs, and pancakes would envelop the house. I started to continue the tradition and my daughter told me it was her favorite thing about Saturday morning, especially when I told her I had the same memories as a kid. Maybe it’s something different for you, like taking her out for a special dessert, sharing a piece of cake at a local diner, or stopping for milkshakes while running errands. Find a tradition around food.
2. Dates
Although that was our first and only daddy-daughter dance, it wasn’t our only date, thank goodness. The things that I’ve found to make a mark are when you have a tradition or you do something unexpected. Do the two of you have a favorite spot to hang out, a favorite activity, or restaurant? Try to do something unique that’s unexpected. My daughter likes hamburgers, so we went around town looking for the best burger in town. Maybe try surprising her with a picnic and her favorite movie on a laptop.
3. Dress-Up
When I went to the funeral of a close friend, one of the prominent pictures that was shared was of him dressed up like Prince Valiant with his daughters. Dressing up for a tea party, or like a prince, superhero, or her favorite cartoon characters is all about play. She wants to play with you, and the more all-in you go, the more she’ll remember. Take it from someone who didn’t do this well. I wish I could go back and do this over again. Don’t miss the opportunities to dress up.
4. Dancing
When a family friend was 5 years old, she used to stand on her dad’s shoes, and the two of them would dance to “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog. Decades later, they danced to the same song at her wedding. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Some of the sweetest memories your daughter will ever have is dancing with her. It doesn’t take any talent to sway to some music and dip her. But when she’s older and those songs come on, she’ll remember. Maybe you’ll even dance to one of those songs at her wedding.
5. Bedtime Routines
Bedtime is one of the best chances to create traditions, memories, and give affirmations. I used to lay down with my daughter, and we’d create an animal together. Typically it was an animal with a tiger head, turtle body, dog tail, and cheetah legs. Then I would ask her what color it was and what we should name it. Sometimes she would draw it the next day. Then we’d create a new one the next night. She wanted to do it every night. Little things like that are the things she’ll remember about you with warmth, love, and a smile. She’ll remember how focused you were on her. So, whatever you decide to do as you lay her down to bed, remove all distractions and make sure she knows how important and loved she is.
Sound off: What are some other great core memories we can create with our daughters?
Huddle up with your daughter and ask, “What is your favorite memory of the two of us?”