When I was a boy coming of age, the world was radically different than it is in this current era of technology. Porn use was limited to magazines and seedy movie houses. Kids, including this one, would get their hands on the occasional Playboy centerfold. Before the internet, we weren’t saturated in pornography. But it’s everywhere now, and it’s one click away. How is that affecting our lives?
If 1,000 men are reading this, I could make a decent assumption that 990 have used porn in some fashion within the past year. Porn is here and it’s not leaving. How do we combat it as men and fathers? We need to understand what it’s doing and then keep it away from our families and marriages. Here are 5 ways porn use affects your life.
1. Physically
In his book, The Night Before I Killed Addiction, Oche Otorkpa writes, “One thing you must realize is that: you either kill your addiction or your addiction will eventually kill you.” Regularly viewing porn rewires your brain and distorts your thoughts and behaviors. Pornography slowly strangles your ability to love, interact, and physically bond with a spouse. Having a satisfying, real-life sexual relationship with a woman can become impossible. You find yourself unable to experience physical love as it was intended.
2. Morally
Many people who appear in pornography are victims of human trafficking. How does agreeing to watch them be forced to perform affect our morality? What if in porn use, we saw a person we once knew and cared for—or perhaps even our own child? Can we accept this to feed our sexual desires? The use of pornography cannot be morally substantiated. So, when we partake, what does that make us?
3. Socially
How does regular porn use affect our relationships? Regarding marriage, check out this resource. How does it affect other relationships, such as the one between father and son? A boy looks to his father for moral guidance. When a dad is having a sex talk with his 12-year-old son, would he advise the boy to seek pornography as a means to learn? Absolutely not. Then we are left with an obvious question: If I wouldn’t send my son or daughter there, why am I going there? We can’t justify our own use when looking at it through this scope.
4. Spiritually
God did not design us to exploit or take advantage of one another and that’s what porn does.God did not design us to exploit or take advantage of one another and that’s what porn does. Once we participate in it, it leaves its mark on us. We start to view other people as objects. And since they are created in the image of God, it distorts even our view of God and our relationship with him.
5. Professionally
If pornography was truly acceptable, there would be no need to hide it from others. Porn use is mostly done behind closed doors. When the truth is revealed, it can cost relationships, but it can even cost you a career, if you get caught at work or if you work in certain fields. If for no other reason than that, we must carefully consider the potential consequences when deciding whether to use porn.
All Pro Dad Challenge
Challenge yourself as a father and a leader to abstain from pornography for a full week. At the end of that week, take note of any differences you felt not using porn, both internally and in how you interact with the important people in your life.
Sound off: In what ways has porn use negatively affected your life?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have you ever seen something on the internet that you feel like you shouldn’t have seen?”