Our middle daughter just turned 13. She is a favorite playmate of both her older and younger siblings and has a knack for making new friends most anywhere she goes. My wife and I suspect this is because of her childlike innocence, a quality we don’t take for granted, especially now that she’s in her teenage years. We see that there are things in this world that threaten her safety and innocence, and we know we need to be deliberate in protecting her.
I think every parent feels this struggle to some degree. As our kids grow up, they are exposed all the time to things that could steal their innocence. While we need to ensure they have the skills they need to face the world, we need to work at the same time to guard their hearts. Here are 5 ways to protect childlike innocence.
1. Spend quality time with your kids.
Kids crave time and attention from their parents. When you engage with your kids, talking and listening to them, taking them on dad dates, and investing in their interests, they will see in practice the ways you love them. They’ll feel valued. Your time and example will teach your kids clearly the ways they deserve to be treated by others and the ways they should treat other people as well.
2. Know who they’re with and what they’re doing.
As they grow up, it’s easy to get disconnected from our kids’ day-to-day lives. Get to know your kids’ friends and ask what they are doing together. Have them over to your house and learn a little about them. Don’t be afraid to have honest conversations with your son if you’re worried or these friends start to make bad choices.
3. Have “the talk.”
It doesn’t matter how much you try to shield your kids from things—ads and marketing are everywhere, giving very strong messages to our kids about their bodies and sexuality. This means we need to talk to them about sex and puberty much earlier than we might expect. They need to learn about sex from us before the learn about it on YouTube. Make sure that you and your kids’ mom are the first to explain the feelings and changes in their bodies, and make sure it’s not just a single talk but an ongoing conversation.
4. Talk to them about abuse.
It’s a sad fact that you don’t just need to have “the talk” with your kids, but we also need to warn them about those who want to hurt them. The statistics on sexual abuse are horrifying, and the fact that it could happen to even one of our kids is too much. It is critical that you share with your kids the goodness of their bodies and what to do if someone tries to act inappropriately toward them. If you’re not sure where to start that conversation, have a look at this iMom article on ways to protect your kids from abuse.
5. Pay attention to their media habits.
Since so much more media is consumed on personal devices, you might not be aware of what your kids are seeing. Find out which shows she is watching, the social media networks she frequents, and the music she is listening to. If you don’t know what a show or song is, there are lots of online resources for parents like Common Sense Media and the Center for Parent and Youth Understanding that can help you navigate the digital world. Talk to your kids about the messages they are seeing and hearing and how those messages are shaping their worldview.
Sound off: What are other ways to protect childlike innocence?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Who are the people you know you can trust?”