When my wife tried to warn me about a person’s character, I rolled my eyes and interrupted before she could finish her sentence. I assured her that she didn’t know what she was talking about, and I accused her of being judgmental. She didn’t say another word, and my harsh words had gone deep. Then, as it turned out, she was right. Not valuing what my wife was trying to say caused me a lot of pain and heartache. I should have listened to her advice.
Not only did the incident cost me, but it also cost my wife. She wants to feel valued, and I do value her, but ignoring her warning didn’t show her that. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Take every opportunity to make sure your wife feels valued. Here are 5 things you can do to make your wife feel valued.
1. Go to her for advice.
Your wife doesn’t want to be in control; she wants to be involved. When you take the time to ask for her opinion, you’re sending her a clear message that you value her input.
Your wife doesn’t want to be in control; she wants to be involved.2. Give her your undivided attention.
Your wife doesn’t want to compete for your attention. It’s been said that the average person sees over 8,000 advertisements per day. That’s a lot of distractions to see through. If you want your wife to feel valued, the best thing you can do is cut off the TV or put down your phone. When you do that, your wife sees that she is more important than your entertainment.
3. Admit it when you’re wrong.
Most men hate admitting when they’re wrong, especially when their wives try to warn them about something. No one likes to admit being wrong, but it takes courage to fess up when you mess up. When you admit that you are wrong, you send a message to your wife that you value your relationship with her more than keeping your ego intact.
4. Be the first to apologize.
Conflict is inevitable. At some point, every couple will have a disagreement or fight. When you’re the first to apologize, it sends the message to your wife that you value the relationship more than being right. Too many men want to “save face” in front of their wives by not apologizing, but when you’re the first to apologize, it’s an opportunity to model humility. Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life Church says, “People would rather follow a leader who is always real than one who is always right.” This quote could easily be said about wives and husbands as well.
5. Make time in your schedule for her.
Priorities get scheduled, and what gets planned gets done. We schedule haircuts, doctor appointments, and oil changes. If these things are important, why don’t we schedule time for our most important relationship? When you send your wife a calendar invite, it communicates that you value your relationship. It also makes her feel valued because scheduling time to be together takes planning and intentionality on your part. It’s been said that it’s the thought that counts. It’s not true. It’s the actions that count in our marriage. If you want your wife to feel valued, take action in growing your relationship.
Sound off: Which of the five points, if you implemented them immediately, would bring a lift to your marriage?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Who would be the first couple of people you would go to for advice?”