Based on a real-life story, the movie Coach Carter is truly inspiring. Samuel L. Jackson plays a high school basketball coach who is dead set on seeing his players succeed on and off the court. The kids were great athletes but poor students. That wasn’t good enough for Coach, who decided to lock the gym doors until his team’s grades improved. Doing the bare minimum in class was no longer acceptable if you wanted to play on his team. Despite massive pushback from school administrators and parents, he demanded more from the players, and raised the standard of what it meant to be a successful, well-rounded student athlete. By the end of the season, everyone on the team recognized that Carter was trying to help them become their best in all areas of life.
Raising the standards reshuffles the deck. Coaches get to do this on the court or field. Teachers, in the classroom. But dads control the standard in our homes. This is a big responsibility and helps shape how our children navigate the world. If we want what’s best for our kids, we have to commit to being a better dad. Here are 5 ways to raise your standards as a dad.
1. Reject mediocrity.
I was fortunate to win a Super Bowl my rookie season in the NFL. Only the best teams get to hold the Lombardi trophy, and everyone in an NFL locker room knows it. Being average on the field won’t win championships. Being an average dad won’t help your kids flourish, either. If we want to be champions in our homes, we have to push ourselves to reject mediocrity. That means going above and beyond for our kids. Help with their homework. Play the card games. Listen to your kids’ dreams, fears, and worries. Do what helps them thrive. Anything less is mediocre. The moment we accept mediocrity as good enough, we lose our will to improve.
2. Turn off the TV.
It’s said that William Shakespeare was the first person to be described as a “jack of all trades.” Would the same be said if Netflix had been around to preoccupy him? In the book The First 20 Hours, author Josh Kaufman posits that it takes about 20 hours for someone to learn a new skill. That number is significant since Americans spend about three hours per day watching TV. Do that math. That’s 21 hours per week. We could be learning 52 new skills per year if we just put in the time.
3. Always be growing.
Constantly growing raises our standard as dads because it shows our kids that becoming the best possible version of ourselves is a lifelong pursuit. Consider therapy to sort out a wound from childhood. Ask your wife or close, trusted friends for feedback on how you impact the world around you. Seek out new sources of information to help you sharpen your parenting skills, like the All Pro Dad podcast. If you do this, your kids will likely adopt the same curious spirit.
4. Retry a past failure.
Think back to a time you failed at something. Maybe it was running a half-marathon or starting a business. Did you quit? Resilience happens when we refuse to give up on something we think is attainable. It doesn’t happen passively. If you have waited to take another crack at a past failure, start making plans for a retry. Sticking with a dream shows your kids that failure is only permanent if we let it be.
5. Reframe your mistakes.
Jerry Seinfeld bombed during his first stand-up comedy routine. He went out on stage, forgot his lines, and got booed off stage. He realized he hadn’t prepared well enough to succeed on stage. He learned from it and tried again. Now over 40 years later, he’s the richest comedian in the world. Likewise, being a better dad requires you to make assessments after you mess up. Treat mistakes as stepping stones on the path to success. Learn from your failures, and be better next time.
Sound off: How does being a better dad impact everyone in your family?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What does it mean to have high standards?”