I am in the 21st year of marriage to my beautiful wife. If we toss in the 2 years of dating beforehand, this will be our 23rd Valentine’s Day together as a couple. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never been fully onboard with this strange holiday. Forced romance is not something that comes naturally. I adore her, so it’s not that I don’t enjoy all the things that define Valentine’s Day. I’d just rather it all be more sincere. Real is romantic. Chocolate is a dessert.
In that spirit, I was mulling over Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages. Knowing your wife’s love language and loving her in that way is where significant impact can be made. Do you want to truly be your wife’s Valentine this year? Here are 5 ways you can win your wife’s heart on Valentine’s Day.
1. How Much Do I Love You? Let Me Count the Ways
Words of affirmation carry great weight romantically. They cut through the hurts and scars that build in life, and provide soothing calm to often turbulent lives. If the goal is to melt her heart, then telling her why you love her is a fantastic place to start. Focus on all the ways she makes your life and that of your family better each day, and then you can move towards the more personal things unique to the bond you share.
2. Complete the Honey-Do List
There are things on my honey-do list that are old enough to be registered for elementary school. How about yours? There is no wife on the planet that doesn’t identify with this love language. How great of a Valentine present would it be to complete those tasks in and around the home that for whatever reason have never been done?
3. A Gift that Touches Her Heart
A sad sight occurs each year on February 13th. Drugstores, grocery stores, and discount chains are full of husbands buying the last second gift. Those places know and expect this, and are ready with the usual chocolates, bears, balloons, and assorted junk. It’s a big business. What if, instead, we chose a better path? If we dug deep into all that we know about her and came up with a single gift that touches her heart in the best possible way? Perhaps it’s a rare book or an antique locket that reminds her of her beloved grandmother. Make it a gift that carries meaning and shows that we truly know her.
4. Like It was When You were Dating
Quality time consists of moments that are genuine and cherished. Set time to be with your wife one-on-one and protect it. She needs it and so do you. Do we remember what it was like when she was the top priority? Being with her topped any game, night out with friends…everything. I lived 204 miles exactly from my future wife when we were first dating. That gap had no chance of keeping us apart. We easily filled it regularly until we were finally together. Quality time consists of moments that are genuine and cherished. Set time to be with your wife one-on-one and protect it. She needs it and so do you.
5. Bring the Fireworks
Physical touch. This isn’t the forum for me to dive into an explanation, and a husband shouldn’t need one. We’ll put it like this: If you successfully completed items 1-4 on this list, hopefully, this one will come naturally.
What are you going to do for your wife this Valentine’s Day?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What makes you feel loved?”