Advice for a Struggling Marriage

You may be there. Things at home are cold. There is a tension in the air. You and your wife have been fighting for a long time. Feelings of hopelessness or even bitterness can quickly come flooding in. The last thing you want to do at the end of a hard day is sit in your driveway not wanting to go inside because you and your wife are at odds.

When you commit your life to someone, at some point you are going to go through rocky points in the relationship. People often look at me after thirty-three years of marriage and assume I have a marriage with no problems. Believe me, over the course of time, we have had our share of struggles. Everything has not always been smooth. In particular, we have had plenty of disagreements. If you have a struggling marriage, this is what I would recommend.

Focus on What God Wants

The easy thing to do is to focus on what I want over what my spouse wants. I believe our natural state is one of selfishness. If Lauren and I are facing difficulty, we always try to focus on the Lord and what He wants above all. We ask ourselves the question, “How does God want us to handle this?” It helps us to get beyond our own desires and back on the same page. I would recommend that to anyone having marital trouble.


I would also recommend watching a movie called War Room. In it, there is a couple who has a struggling marriage. It gives some great practical tips for praying for your marriage and how to fight for one another rather than against one another. When in doubt, turning toward the Lord is always the best.