“I want a boring sex life,” said no one ever. So why do so many couples settle for one? Because they are willing to tolerate it. When marriage started, sex was fun, exciting, and adventurous. But over time, we tend to turn sex into a monotonous routine that is all too predictable—one more task we add to a long list of to-dos. But you can learn how to improve your sex life.
What if sex could be invigorating and fun again? How would you feel if you once again had flutters and fantasies that you turned into realities? Sex can be an experience you and your wife both anticipate with excitement. It is a God-given gift. And if God made it, He made it good. Sex is beautiful and to be cherished and enjoyed in many ways. Here are 5 that’ll help improve your sex life.
1. Break out of the routine.
Whatever the routine is, if you realize it’s not working, and not what you want for your sex life, it’s time to mix things up. Two of the greatest enemies to a strong and vibrant sex life are boredom and predictability. God wired us sexually to enjoy experiences that are new, fresh, and varied within our marriages. This requires that we break out of our routine. So how do we do that?
It’s amazing what a little something new will do for sex in marriage.2. Try something new that you’ve not yet given a chance.
It might be a new position, a new place, a new piece of clothing, or a new element to spice things up. Adding variety to your sexual relationship with your wife is a great way to enhance intimacy. Because remember, nothing is off-limits as long as it’s not immoral and you are both open to it. It’s amazing what a little something new will do for sex in marriage.
3. Make sex a regular topic of conversation.
Many couples have sex but never talk about sex. They don’t talk about sexual frequency, fantasies, or fulfillment, and as a result, they’re missing out on working together to achieve their best sex life. Sex was made for marriage and therefore shouldn’t be a taboo topic. It’s a topic to discuss openly and honestly at length and in detail when needed. This is a common difficulty in many marriages and requires work and patience.
4. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Your spouse loves your body—even if you don’t. And the more uninhibited spouses become in the marriage bed, the more fun and pleasure they will be able to create together. Your spouse doesn’t want a perfect body. She just wants you. And if your wife struggles to be more comfortable in the bedroom, your positive words and actions toward her can go a long way toward helping improve intimacy.
5. Remember why God gave you the gift in the first place.
Sex is for procreation and pleasure. The first needs no explanation. The second is a God-given gift to enhance your relationship. Sex brings intimacy and intimacy brings pleasure. God designed your marriage bed to take you into “heavenly” places here on earth.
Sound off: Why do you think some married couples have a hard time discussing sex?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What is one way we could spice up our love life this week?”