Some Christmas gifts can offer immediate joy, communicate love, and even create lasting memories. But can we pause for a five-minute, nationwide Christmas gifts sanity check? We string lights all over a tree and cover it with knick-knacks. Under said tree we place decoratively disguised purchases that will eventually end up at Goodwill, all while giving the purchasing credit to an imaginary, robust, red-suited man who rides a sled pulled by wingless, oddly-named animals.
To be fair, our family has done all of the above. But a few years ago, we decided to spend less on gifts and more on experiences, which is the best Christmas traditions upgrade we have ever made. We were inspired to do this based on a suggestion from a friend, and the research that supported it. Here are 6 reasons experiences are better than things.
1. Memories are better than stuff.
Research shows that experiences create memories that stick in our minds and can be interpreted as better than they really were. Material possessions, however, remain fixed objects that are what they are—stuff.
2. Connections are better than isolation.
It’s understandable that when kids get fun, new things for Christmas, they want to spend time with those things. But this time and focus on new things often replaces time and focus on family. When we choose to do things like ride around and look at Christmas lights or play games, we create connections with our kids that matter all year long.
3. Doing is better than having.
The more stuff our kids have, the more there is to take care of, deal with, and eventually store, donate, or trash. Doing things together as a family creates priceless memories you can relive for a lifetime. Plus, memories do not require batteries or shelf space.
4. Communication is better than distraction.
Stuff is distracting. In a lot of ways, that’s its purpose, it’s a thrill. Stuff is exhilarating and novel, sending feel-good chemicals to the brain and body. But things can become the competition of connection, a connection that sends a lifelong message to our kids’ brains and bodies that they matter.
5. Giving is better than entitlement.
Nothing highlights the message “but every kid has one,” more than Christmas. I struggle with not wanting our kids to be “the only one without one.” But my wiser wife didn’t buy into the hype, and our kids never once complained about their less extravagant but more experiential Christmases. Good job, Nancie Lowe. You were right. I was wrong.
6. Unplugging is better than gadgets.
One year during the holidays, our family stopped at a Chick-fil-A that had Christmas boxes on the table. Customers were encouraged to place their phones in the boxes while they ate. The reward for a phone-free meal was free ice cream for everyone at the table. Brilliant. As I looked around the restaurant, I was transported back to good ol’ 1995 when family meals happened with no phones, just arguments. It was bliss. Create some phone-free time over the holidays.
Sound off: What experiences do you enjoy with your family during the holidays?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is something fun you would like our family to do over the holidays?”