We used to be that couple. Our passion was annoying to others, but when you’re a part of it, wow…that’s good stuff. But time can cause passion to go flat. Some become romantically bored in marriage. When kids arrive and mortgage bills keep coming, life occurs and stress builds. The marriage relationship gets put on the backburner, and you can wander into a dangerous place.
Romance isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but here are some tips I’ve learned that are universal to sparks between a man and woman. Are you bored in marriage? Here’s how to get the excitement back.
Kiss Her Like You Mean It
I see it in marriages all over, the obligatory peck on the lips. Too many times it means nothing. My wife and I used to really kiss like it was our job. Over time, a government agency could have declared it endangered; it became so rare. Kissing is important to marriage. When I kiss my wife with purpose and affection, her entire posture changes and I, in turn, fall more in love with her. Good things happen when you kiss her like you mean it.
Let Her Be Part of the Things You Do Well
Women love to see us at our best. For them, the passion begins long before the bedroom. Everything from being handy around the house, seeing us engage in the lives of the kids and family, when we initiate, those are all actions that elevate our attractiveness in their eyes. Work hard at what you can control: being the best you. It matters a great deal. Work hard at what you can control: being the best you.
Putting in the Effort
Presentation is important. How we look, dress, and smell. When it comes to arousing the passions of a woman, scents are pure magic. For 20 plus years my wife has told me her favorite smell is my neck. I got really lucky in that regard. But all other matters of hygiene and presentation require full consideration. Put in that extra effort. Wear that shirt she likes. Dab on that cologne from your birthday. Your efforts could be rewarded.
Meaningful and Honest Communication
Sexual attraction is only going to carry romance so far. It’s not sustainable long-term. Remember when you fell in love and stayed up all night talking? Be open with her. You need to be vulnerable and honest. You also need to go with your wife on her emotional ride throughout the day. Empathize with her and vice versa. Connect on an emotional level rather than disengage. She needs to be your best friend.
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What is your favorite thing about our relationship?”