Lust atrophies your heart and disfigures your soul. Its continual fire chars everything inside. Its embers do not die easily and must constantly be smothered. If you’re a man, you’re either struggling with sexual temptation right now or will be shortly in the future.
There is no innocent thought or action when it comes to sexual sin. You may visit a site or two occasionally on the Internet and think nothing of it. You may get a certain periodical once a month that you don’t read in front of your children. But you haven’t cheated on your wife (yet), so you’re OK right? Wrong.
You see, the mind is like a piece of land plowed, fertilized and well-watered. It’s ready to produce a crop, and your actions are the seeds. Sowing wrong thoughts given by pornography yields devastating results. Your marriage will go through a dry season, or an attractive new assistant starts working with you, and if you’ve been continually planting lust, you will reap an affair. And this affair will spawn the locusts that will devour your home.
I will not give you a “how-to” guide on keeping lust in check. That’s a much more in-depth and personal struggle you must wage on your own battlefield. But I think I can give some helpful pointers that may help steer you in the right direction.
1. Admit You Have a Problem.
It could be a big problem with pornography or just a small one with the occasional wandering eye. All of us men have a problem – it’s just a question of how big of a problem it is.
2. Ask for Forgiveness.
It’s a tough thing to do, but asking your wife and God to forgive what you’ve done sows the seeds of forgiveness and reconciliation. If you have a small lust problem, you may just want to petition God for mercy and the strength to continue the battle. If you have a big pornography or other sexual temptation, there’s a good chance your wife already knows about it. Apologize to her, tell her how wrong you were, and comfort her about how attractive she is to you and how you’re going to be even more committed to the relationship.
3. Seek Help.
Your wife is your biggest soldier-in-arms against pornography. Tell her the kinds of things that may tempt you and ask her to keep you accountable. Perhaps it’s not wise to watch TV by yourself or to go on a long business trip without checking in with her. You may also need to get further help from a counselor or pastor.
4. Realize You’re Not Alone.
All men struggle with lust. Most never do anything about it. Take comfort that you’re one of the few who cares enough about his family to protect it. Also, we’re here for you. If you need further advice or are unsure about what steps to take, please e-mail [email protected].