Calling me a late bloomer when it comes to girls would be an understatement. When I was sixteen, there was a group of us at a local hangout after a Friday night football game. There were several popular girls at our table, but I never really stood out like the other guys. Somehow attention turned to me to tell a funny story. This was my moment to shine and impress, and I was good at telling stories. Everyone was paying attention and engaged. Just as I was going to hit them with the punchline, I made a gesture with my hand, knocking over my drink glass. Coke came flowing down like Niagara Falls all over my lap. I picked up the cup, emptied the rest on my lap, asked the waiter for a refill, and never finished my story.
For middle and high school boys, talking to girls can feel just as clumsy. Obviously it was for me. It’s awkward and scary. If I had only known what I know now, it would have saved me a lot of pain and anxiety. That is why I thoroughly intend on teaching my son how to talk to girls with the following principles.
Respect
Women are to be treated with respect at all times.Women are to be treated with respect at all times. They want a man that treats them well and doing so will make you more desirable. However, the real reason to treat women with respect is that they deserve it. A gentleman is a gentleman at all times. Women are a precious gift and blessing. Speak to them with the dignity with which they were created.
No Puppy Dog
You know that guy that likes a girl and follows her around like a puppy? Never ever be that guy. He always ends up in the friend zone. They need to know that you don’t need them because, in the end, you don’t. You may like a girl, but you shouldn’t need her. While getting to know her, be a little mysterious and always leave her wanting more. That might mean you cut a conversation short or leave a get-together before her. It may mean talking to everyone else at a party before you talk to her. If she is not intrigued, move on. As the relationship progresses, you won’t have to do it anymore but, in the beginning, it is important.
Drive the Conversation
This is a skill that can be learned. Learn how to talk about anything, particularly subjects that pique their interests. What do they have fun talking about? Study and know these topics. Learn the art of asking questions. Make the conversation easy for them by reducing the awkward silence. When she is smiling and laughing, you are hitting the mark. If you get to a point where you are ready to express your true feelings, give her an out. Let her know that it’s okay for her to not answer right away and to not feel the same way. It reduces the pressure on her and allows you to remain in control.
Confident Moves
Nothing reduces awkwardness than a man who is confident about himself and is comfortable in any situation. If you are comfortable in your own skin, it will relax her and make her feel okay. When you walk into a room focus on adding value to everyone you talk to, not just her. A confident posture gives the potential for you to make strong moves—like telling her how you feel. By all means, have important conversations face-to-face or, at least, by phone. Never over text (that’s weak).
Compatibility- Not Self Worth and Overall Attractiveness
It’s natural to feel sad or down when your feelings are not reciprocated. This is bound to happen when you take the initiative. We’ve all been there. If it doesn’t happen, you probably aren’t risking enough. Remember that you are looking for compatibility and so is she. It doesn’t mean that you are less than desirable, just that it’s not a fit. Keep being you, know your true value, and don’t stop initiating.
Along with knowing how to talk to girls, I want my son to know which ones to talk to. Here are 5 Types of Girls I Don’t Want My Son Dating.
Huddle up with your kids tonight and ask them, “Who is the hardest person for you to talk to and why?”