Sex is a vital part of a healthy marriage. If you look at any survey about how often men want sex versus how often women want sex, you will see a significant difference. In most cases, it is true that men want sex more than women. However, sex alone doesn’t satisfy a person’s need for intimacy. We want to have a deep bond with our wives that is grown out of our commitment and love, not just physical touch. But are there ways to turn your wife on without touching her?
In strengthening our bond, we can do things that turn her on sexually without touching her physically. We can honor and serve our wives in order to connect us closer and this may increase our odds of more frequent sex. Regardless of the frequency of sex and your desire for more, here are 5 ways to turn your wife on without touching her.
1. Fix that thing she’s been asking you to fix without her having to ask you again.
Chances are, you have a list of things your wife has asked you to fix or work on around the house. Intentionally take some time out of your day or week to accomplish some of those tasks. Do those without expecting anything in return. When she notices that you fixed something and thanks you for taking care of it, your response should be as simple as, “I love you.” If it has been a really long time coming, you might also apologize for how long you took to do it.
2. Wear sweatpants.
This is not what you think it is. Most of us have that one piece of clothing—that item our wives see and say, “I love when you wear that!” For my wife, it is sweatpants. I’m not sure if it’s because I look cozy and snuggly, but she loves when I wear them around the house. What is that one thing for you? I have one friend whose wife tells him to wear his hat backward. Maybe your wife likes to see you in a hoodie or a suit. Whatever it is, put it on to turn her on.
3. Send her a text.A simple text to let your wife know she’s on your mind will go a long way.
This doesn’t have to be a dirty text or a flirty text, although those are good at times. Think ahead—does your wife have a big meeting or appointment next week? Set a reminder on your phone to text her right before that meeting. This communicates that you listened to her and you care about what’s happening during her day. A simple text to let your wife know she’s on your mind will go a long way.
4. Cook dinner.
At some point during the day, let your wife know you have dinner taken care of. Plan something special to cook for her and the family or pick up her favorite food on the way home. Either way, it communicates that you want to take care of her and you are taking initiative. If you are already the primary cook of the house, think of other ways to take something off her plate.
5. Do the dang dishes.
In light of writing this, I asked my wife “How do I turn you on without touching you?” Her response? “Do the dang dishes.” As I ran to the kitchen to get started, she stopped me to clarify. What she meant is to do things for her—things you know she doesn’t love to do. What are some tasks your wife does around the house that she doesn’t enjoy? Serve her by doing them for her without telling her and see what happens. Please do not make a spectacle of it after the fact. Asking if she noticed that you did the dishes will turn her off, not on.
Sound off: What would you add to this list?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What do I do that turns you on?”