Traveling and finding your way has never been so easy. Just about anywhere you go you can tap into your GPS and get turn by turn directions to your destination. And if you make a wrong turn (whether intentionally or unintentionally), your GPS will let you know exactly where you are and put you right back on the correct path. Wouldn’t it be great if you had your very own marriage GPS?
Every single one of us gets lost or stuck in our marriage from time to time, but a marriage GPS would show us exactly where our relationship is and where it’s going. The good news is there is a marriage GPS, it’s called The 7 Rings of Marriage. And it’s the model you can follow no matter what you’re experiencing in your marriage today. It will lead you to a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
Engagement RING – Build a strong foundation
Buildings that stand the tallest and last the longest have the deepest and strongest foundations. In the same way, strong marriages have strong foundations. Our marriages must be set on something lasting, a principle or set of principles that both a husband and a wife can lean on in good times and bad. If that is missing or it’s eroded over time, it’s time to define this foundation and work on it.
Wedding RING – Live out your commitment
Marriage is the biggest commitment we can make to another human being.Marriage is the biggest commitment we can make to another human being. Two become one when we say, “I do.” A marriage requires total commitment. Not commitment in some areas, but not others. When we have a hard time coming together about money, in communication, or even how to best parent, we may not be fulling committing in some areas.
DiscoveRING – Learn your spouse
I heard someone say about dating before marriage, “You weren’t dating your spouse, you were dating their representative.” If you’ve ever discovered something about your spouse that you didn’t know prior to marriage then you know what they meant. After marriage, we learn a lot about one another, both good and bad things, and sometimes they are shocking. When we stop trying to learn new things about our spouse is the first day to major issues in our communication, intimacy, and quality time. If your are there, it’s time to go back to school in studying your spouse.
PerseveRING – Never give up
If you were told marriage is hard, you should believe it. Just like everything worthwhile in life, marriage can become hard. Happily ever after doesn’t come without a price. Expect challenges, but don’t be discouraged by them. And most importantly, don’t give up when they come. My wife and I have experienced many challenges—communication issues, in-law issues, intimacy issues, even financial issues and being homeless. We had options to quit or persevere. We chose to persevere, and you can too.
RestoRING – Put the broken pieces (and hearts) back together
When you discover alarming things about your spouse or something happens in your marriage which causes brokenness, some restoration is necessary. No matter the level of the challenges you’ve faced, you have to take the time to heal, to restore, and to put back the broken pieces, even hearts in your marriage. Bitterness and unforgiveness have no place in your relationship. This is where some of the greatest breakthroughs can happen. Think about kissing and making up on a larger scale. It feels good and it is great for your marriage.
ProspeRING – Celebrate the gift of our spouse and your marriage
What a wonderful gift marriage is to a man and a woman. What a wonderful gift your wife is to you. This is to be celebrated, not just on our anniversaries. Sometimes, due to the challenges we face in marriage, it’s can become hard to continually celebrate our marriages. But what we’ve learned is through all the rings, through all the ups and downs, some of our greatest times happened during some of our greatest challenges. We can see this with a better perspective. That perspective comes from looking for the good. So look for the good in your spouse and marriage, then celebrate.
MentoRING – Share your experiences and lessons
There was a point in our marriage when we realized we’d been through a lot. Then we realized other couples were hurting and hungry for ways to have a better marriage. At that point, it felt like a crime to not share our experiences. There is another couple or couples you know that are struggling with things you’ve experienced and have questions. Be there to help them. When you take a look at your marriage and see what you’ve experienced, begin to find ways and people who can benefit from them and share your story.
My wife and I have experienced all 7 Rings of Marriage, some of them multiple times. We’ve found that couples with lasting and fulfilling marriages have experienced them all too. You are wearing one of those rings right now. I want you to find out which one, where your marriage is today, and take the steps needed to help you grow through all 7 Rings. If you are interested in growing more in your marriage check out my book The 7 Rings of Marriage and an online summit I will be hosting beginning January 12th.
Huddle up with your wife and say, “Let’s find out where our marriage is today and begin moving toward where we want to be.”